


Healing with Dr. Solace

by AAThanatos



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Awkward Sexual Situations, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Come Swallowing, Dubious Consent, Erotic Games, Erotica, Feathers & Featherplay, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Flowers, Forehead Touching, Frottage, Genderbending, Genderfluid, Handcuffs, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Intercrural Sex, Intimacy, Kissing, Lingerie, M/M, Making Out, Massage, Masturbation, Mentions of Rape, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Panties, Romance, Sex, Sexual Content, Shower Sex, Thighs, Touching, cross dressing, dubcon, handjob, licking cum, no hands orgsam, reynico - Freeform, sex therapy, solangelo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-04-06 20:47:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14065278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AAThanatos/pseuds/AAThanatos
Summary: Mortal AUNico di Angelo is healing from his past assault and hasn't found a therapist that can help him move on to the next step of being intimate with someone. Until he finds Dr. Will Solace. In this story we will follow Will help Nico learn to touch and be touched. This is pretty much smut with plot. Don't like don't read don't hate.





	1. Session one

**Author's Note:**

> This story came from a one shot that people wanted to be drawn-out into a full on story so that's what we are doing! The inspiration came from an article I read about a doctor that had sex with patients for only ten sessions to teach them how to be sexual again whether it was from trauma or from a physical disability. This was a real article look it up it was super interesting.

So, I decided to take Reyna’s advice, it had been long enough, and it was starting to get embarrassing. Every time I get to the point of getting intimate with someone I just can’t do it, I have no control! Are they going to touch me to hard? Are they going to go to fast? I don’t like not knowing and I have yet to learn how to read minds. My therapist and I already figured out that my past trauma that was not consensual is the root of this problem, but how do you fix that! My doc says that communication with my partner is the key, yet I don’t let anyone get close enough to become my partner. So, Reyna wants me to see this guy that she met at a Women’s health conference. We are having coffee, I don’t even know what this guy does. Is he a doctor? Psych guy? All I know is that I am walking up to his personal apartment right now and he could be an axe murderer. 

Knocking on the door I heard footsteps starting for the door before I could even hit the wood. A woman opened the door from the other side. With a quick nod she smiled at me and ducked away. A voice rang out from inside. 

“Nico come in! Just sit in the living room anywhere you want!”

I closed the door behind me as I entered the roomy apartment. The color scheme was creams and cool blues with little touches of yellow, I liked it, it was nothing like me. I preferred my own space to be much darker in pallet, yet this whole area seems soothing and calming. My nerves were almost completely melted away which in its own way was unsettling. Looking into the living room I saw two large comfy chairs with footstools facing one another. Behind the chairs was a large king size bed with what I could only believe were fresh sheets from the waft of the fabric softener coming off the bed. Making my self comfortable in the big plushy chair I realized how small I was inside of it, yet I felt safe enclosed in its size. Steps started toward the area and I looked up to see what I could only describe as the most beautiful man I have ever seen. Over six-foot-tall with a golden tan and blue eyes, a spay of freckles strewn artfully across his skin. I had never experienced immediate physical attraction until this moment, usually I must get to know someone before I find them attractive. 

So, it goes without saying that I haven’t had a relationship before. Wearing a relaxed soft looking t-shirt and what I can only assume is navy blue yoga pants to match he strolled over to the other chair barefoot with the coffee in his hands. 

“Reyna divulged that you hate coffee, so you have a really amazing hot chocolate for us. I was super happy to hear that because I also hate coffee, unless its in ice cream which I know is super weird. Sorry I go off on weird Segway’s, I’m Will Solace.” Handing me the cup I looked at the beautiful rich color of the contents and then back up into those blue Lapis orbs that had my heart pumping. If this guy is a doctor then I can’t be his patient, I’m way to attracted to him. 

“Yeah, so umm what is it that you do? Reyna didn’t tell me she just said you could help me with a problem I have. “shifting awkwardly, I sipped at my hot chocolate willing myself to listen to him instead of just stare at his lips.

“Yes, Reyna had loose lips about your situation, I am sorry about that she shouldn’t have been so candid about it but alas she told me things, but I would like to hear it from you.”

“Damnit Reyna! Ok well since the cat is out of the bag I guess I wont dance around this. I was assaulted in high school. I won’t go into detail, but it was sexual in nature and since then I haven’t been able to bring myself to be physical with someone.”

Nodding at me he waited a beat before responding as if he wasn’t surprised. I swear that girl needs to know when to keep her mouth shut.

“Well, I met Reyna at the Women’s health conference as I’m sure you know. I have a few different degrees. I am an MD psychiatrist and have a few different PHD’s as well in various social fields. My therapy consists of seeing a patient for ten sessions and ten only. I teach sexual assault victims how to be intimate again. Obviously its not for everyone but it’s a form physical therapy. I submitted several studies on the method I use, and I got it by the ethics board as long as I don’t charge and keep it to ten sessions. “I almost choked on my drink at his words.

“So, you fuck people to heal them?”

“So crass, no. I teach people how to be intimate with their partners again. I usually work with couples. Only a few of my Patients are singles. Sometimes I am intimate with them safely and consensually. That’s not always the case, the being physical part. I would never take advantage of someone. Plus, my patients are here of their own free will and may leave or stop session at any time. I require at least an hour with you at a time, but the sessions can go up to three hours at a time. “

“How do you make money if you don’t charge?”

“I have grant money for research into this subject, if your case makes the research I will ask your permission and change your name and physical description. “

“So, you do this for women, why are you seeing me then?”

“To be fair my therapy is open to all Genders, how do you identify?”

“I’m a Cis Gay man. My pronouns are him, his, he.”

“I can’t tell you how happy I am that I didn’t have to explain that to someone. I am a Cis Pansexual man with the same pronouns.” He chuckled deep in his chest.

“Well, I learned a lot about it from Reyna. I’m also playing with the idea of Genderfluid.”

“So, you don’t always identify as male?”

“Not mentally all the time, I am still figuring it out.”

“Well if you ever want me to refer to you in different pronouns just let me know and I will do that.”

“Thank you, so how does this work?”

“Well first thing first, are you sexual? Like do you want to have a sexual relationship with someone one day? Do you experience physical and mental arousal?”

“Yes.” I blushed at his words.

“Well we can either get started today or next session, some people need time to wrap their heads around it. If we get started today or next session, then we are going to lay down some simple ground rules and then we move to the bed if and only if you are comfortable with that. If not, we start right here in these chairs, but I do expect to move to the bed by session three. Then I’m going to lay on the bed fully clothed and I will allow you to do anything you want to me for thirty minutes. Then we switch it up and I touch you. I will not touch you sexually until you want me to if you ever want me to. “

“Wow, well….I wont lie I’m very skeptical about this, but I’ve also tried everything else and nothing seems to work so you are kind of my last resort. Ok I’ll be a patient.”

“How about this, we will do one session today and call me tomorrow if you want to continue. “

“Deal.” 

 

Moving over to the bed he laid down on the left side and put his arms under his head as he lounged like a lazy cat. Climbing onto the right side I began to shake a bit. I was too nervous for this. I started to scramble off the bed when he told me to wait. Reaching under the bed he pulled out and pair of handcuffs and placed his wrists in them. Attaching himself to the headboard I looked down at his body stretched out and realized what he was doing, he was giving me the sound mind that he can’t touch me, can’t hurt me.

“The safe words to use are the regular Red, yellow, and green. Red to stop, yellow to slow down or getting close to the limit, green means continue, and everything is fine. I see how nervous you are so instead of thirty-minute switch I’m just going to let you touch me for the whole hour. “

Its like he knew, he knew I couldn’t do it without knowing he couldn’t touch me. 

“Ok so Safe words and I can touch you however I want.”

“As long as you follow the safe words.”

“Is anything off limits?”

“No water sports or scat stuff please.”

“What?”

“Don’t go to the bathroom on me.”

“Oh, gods people do that!”

“Yes, so please don’t.”

“I won’t, ewww.”

I touched his arm first, examining his hands and the little blonde hairs on his arms, connecting the freckles in my mind to see if I saw any pictures. Within the first thirty minutes I touched him in the most neutral manner. Sometimes he would coo and moan slightly at a type of touch, but that’s all the noise he made. We didn’t talk, I’m happy we didn’t talk it made this easier. 

“Nico, would you like to touch me naked?”

“Is it a bad thing to say that I do want to?”

“Not at all, you can undress me to your comfort level and touch whatever you want.”

“What’s the point of this?”

“Sometimes its easier to touch someone else then have them touch you. Baby steps.”

“Does this mean in other sessions we might be having sex?”

“Only if that’s what you want. If all you want out of the ten sessions is to learn how to touch and be touched without being triggered than that’s what we will devote this to. Everything we do Nico is your call.”

I swallowed and started to pull the yoga pants off his legs to reveal baby blue briefs. Rolling his shirt up I placed it over his eyes as I revealed his muscled chest.

“I don’t want you to look at me.”

“Ok.” He breathed in a heavy whisper.

Lightly I trailed my fingertips all over his torso. I loved the way he squirmed and writhed at the light touches. Trailing down his legs and finally settling on his hips. I loved the way his skin felt beneath my hands. I was enamored by him. My heart was beating so quickly, and my breath became erratic as he continued to push into my touch. Will Solace has this was of making you feel at ease touching his body yet at the same time making it the most erotic moment of my life. The pace of his breathing has changed too, I climbed on top of him fully clothed and straddled his thighs. Keeping my hands on his hips I lowered my head to set my ear against his heart. I had never seen in this position before. Laying on top of someone while they are half naked. My ear had never touched a bare chest to my recollection. Breathing him in the scent of Lemongrass and Bergamot filled my nose, damn he smelled good. Will looked good, smelled good, felt good, and for once I felt good. I felt…..Aroused. 

Twisting my head, I kissed the middle of his sternum, he arched his back into me as I trailed the kisses over the expanse of his skin. Rubbing my face on the softness of the sparse body hair, I took in the feeling of radiating warmth from him into my cold body. It was like his warmth was thawing me, melting my frigidity. The shaking was back. It wasn’t fear this time though, it was me being so turned on that my body didn’t know how to react to it. Scooting my hips forward I started kissing at his neck, chaste yet lingers pecks and little nibbles that wouldn’t leave marks or to much spit. Wills crotch was pressing hard against my own arousal. The feeling was slightly overwhelming, this beautiful man was turned on by me. Swallowing the bubble in my throat I reached up and drew his shirt off his eyes and to his wrists.

“Do you want me to see you now Nico?”

“Yes.”

“Good, I want to see you too.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

As clinical as he was being I was getting harder at the thought of it. Brushing my lips against his I felt him roll his hips slow against mine. My breath hitched at the roll and opened slightly, at this he slipped his tongue into my mouth. Unlike a few other times I has kissed someone Will didn’t try to choke me with his tongue or go so deep that he was counting my teeth. The tip of his tongue lightly swirled the tip of mine in a fine dance that matched the rhythm of our hips. I deepen the kiss slightly and he bucked into me in a way that made me moan into his mouth. Before I knew it, I was making out and grinding on top of a handcuffed stranger. If you would have asked me yesterday if this would be happening I would have slapped you and called you a liar, yet here I was. Sweat broke over both of us and I found myself grinding into him harder for more friction, then BAM! White light filled the room and a strong familiar pull to my gut spasmed. I felt Will still underneath me and let out a strained call of my name.

Catching my breath, I looked down between us to see that his Blue briefs where stained and wet. Holy shit we both just did that! We just… Just from making out! 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t, I mean I’ve never, Will I’m sorry I’m so so sorry”

With a click and movement of his thumb he escaped his cuffs.

“These are self-release cuffs, stop apologizing first of all, are you ok?” he took my hands in his as I found myself still straddling his lap. I wish I could have moved off him, but I couldn’t bring myself to. ‘’

“I think so, I don’t know.”

“Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No, I just… I’ve never done that. I’ve never cum with someone before. Like ever.”

“Was it your first orgasm or just the first with another person?” he said still sort of out breath from the make out session.

“First with another person.”

“Well, Nico I think if you let me I can help you with your problem. You are super receptive if you feel safe. I want to help you. 

Shaking and feeling slightly weird with the mess in my pants I looked at him straight in the eyes. Will was serious and genuine and strangely enough I trusted him. I wanted him. I wanted to do things to him that I haven’t thought about in years.   
“I want you to help me too.”

It was amazing how he knew how to move around me. Wills hands never left mine, never tried to touch me elsewhere. When I finally lifted off him I made my way back to the chair I was in previously. Putting his clothes back on he joined me once again sitting across from me. 

“I’m really proud of you Nico. I didn’t think you would go that far. I thought you might be more averse to touch.”

“I am, usually. I don’t really know what came over me to be honest.”

“Well I’m going to put something out there, could it be because you are ready to take the next step to physical intimacy yet haven’t found a way to. That me being handcuffed and unable to touch you helped? I think that maybe you are starved for intimacy and you found a perfect scenario and jumped at the chance to be able to express intimacy while feeling safe. That’s ok. That’s the point of this kind of therapy, to make you feel safe while feeling intimacy. I think we can get you to the point of having sex by the end of this journey, or at the very least you will have the tools to be able to get there eventually. Now I want you to call/text/email whatever me tomorrow and let me know if this is what you want to do. Take a night to sleep on it, or if in two nights you want to just let me know. I really do think we can get you there Nico.”

“I want to think about it, I won’t lie I am a little mortified at myself right now.”

“I expected nothing less, most people are when they have a break through. If we are both being honest right now, you are my first patient that had a physical breakthrough the very first session.”

“I am?”

“Yes, that’s what really makes me feel like this can really work for you.”

“Well, Ill call tomorrow and let you know.”

Nodding at each other and he politely saw me to the door as I blushed the entire way. Rushing out of the building I ran all the way to my apartment instead of taking the bus or a taxi, to be fair it wasn’t far, but it was far enough to want a form of transportation. Running up my three story walk up I threw my door open just to find Reyna sitting quietly on the couch with her lap top.

“Nico! How did it go!”

“I am not talking to you right now! I should put Nair in your shampoo!” I yelled while stomping off toward the bathroom to take a shower and strip myself from my cum stained underwear. Throwing the shower on I stepped inside as I heard the knock at the bathroom door.


	2. Session two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico finally is touched by Will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since chapter one was just an extension of the one shot I already posted I figured I should post chapter two along with it.

“Nico! We need to talk about this!”

“Fine! Talk!”

Coming in she sat on the closed toilet, this was a common practice with us. One would bitch while the other was in the shower. That way we could talk without having to plainly look at the other, that and I felt safe physically with Reyna as I do with most women. Men on the other hand…..yeah well that’s what sucks most about this, I’ve wished so hard since the attack to be able to be attracted to women, alas that has failed.

“Well talk bitch, explain why you outed me! Why you told him about my assault! How much did you tell him!”

“I just told him that you were a virgin when you were attacked and haven’t been able to have sex since.”

“That wasn’t sex!”

“No its not sex, I’m not saying that the attack was sex I’m just saying that ….Damn it Nico you know what I’m trying to say, how long have we known each other!”

“I do know what you are trying to stay, but you had no right to talk about that with him Reyna that was for me to tell him.”

“Would you have told him?”

“He is a doctor, so yes I would have told him.”

“Ok I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, so how did the session go?”

“It went fine, I’m deciding by tomorrow if I want to see him for his ten-session thing.”

“Did you sleep with him? I heard his talk on his type of therapy.”

“I did not sleep with him, but we did have a sort of breakthrough I guess.”

“What was the break through?”

“I can’t say it out loud, just look at my boxers and put the clues together.”

I heard her pick the clothes up while I soaped up my body, I heard her suck in a deep breath. Reyna was a smart person, I wouldn’t need to do a play by play for her.

“So, you came in your pants?”

“I did.”

“Did it trigger you?”

“No, he put himself in a position where he couldn’t touch me.”

“Are you ok now?”

“Weirdly yes, I’m only showering because I was sweating and the obvious reason in your hands. I don’t feel… dirty. I really thought I would. I’m almost mad at myself because I don’t feel triggered or bad about it. Is that weird? Feeling bad for not feeling bad?”

“No, that’s a thing. Its not weird. I am happy you are not triggered. I hope you do go back and see him, I think he can really help you.”

“I’m thinking strongly on it.”

***timebreak***

I spent the rest of the night thinking about what happened. Even going as far to touch myself to the memory twice before I went to bed. I of course felt guiltier about that than the actual interaction which is super confusing, ill need to talk to him about that. Huh? I guess I’m seeing him again. The thought is comforting, and I look forward to seeing Will.

The next morning, I text Will and tell him I wanted to continue our therapy, he texted back quickly to let me know which time this week we could met up and that he had a cancelation today at 5. I took it. I found that I had a bounce in my step as I went back to his office/ apartment. A note was taped to the door that said just to come in that he was napping and to wake him up, to be fair he had cameras in the hallways, but it still was a little unnerving that he was so open to let someone outside his door know that the door was unlocked and he was in a vulnerable state. Walking in I found him on a couch in the corner nook of the apartment. Will looked so cute, peaceful. I saw a TV was on across from him and he was watching Netflix and Spam watching some detective show. I tried to wake him by touching his shoulder.

Peeking through his heavy lids he motioned for me to join him. I hesitated and froze a bit. Part of me really wanted to but I could bring myself to do it. Eyes still closed he grabbed for my hand pulled me over. Waking slightly, he readjusted himself so that he was Laying on his back. Wearing basketball shorts and a white tank top he is looking so relaxed, Will wasn’t the wear super tight show off his body type clothes. I closed my eyes and moved my feet toward him as he held my hand and I straddled his hips like I did the day before. The only differences are that he had his clothes on and not handcuffed. I settled down to put my head on his chest, eyes still closed and terrified of being triggered.

“I’m going to place my hands on your lower back.” He said sleepily.

As he reached up and did it I braced for the contact. No trigger came. I opened my eyes and watched the show. Every time he moved his hands he would pre-warn me, and I knew exactly where his hands were going to go. It was such a comfort to feel this without worry, to be held by someone and have their fingers run through your hair without feeling like your skin is crawling. It was a chorus of every ten minutes I would hear…

“I’m moving my right hand to your hip.”

“I am going to dance my fingertips along your spine.”

“I’m going to kiss the top of your head.”

I loved it. Eventually we ended up kissing on the couch, when he couldn’t tell me where his hands where going he would just grab the couch. Things were getting hot and heavy quick, my carnal attraction to him was overwhelming and from the tent in his pants it seemed that he felt the same way. We didn’t even know each other that well but the attraction to one another was undeniable. Hearts beating fast and sweat pooling across our bodies. I wasn’t nervous like yesterday, his dialogue kept me at ease about his touches. Will knew how to make you feel sexy and safe. I wanted to touch him, had to.

“W-will, can I touch you?”

“Sure, how do you want to touch me?”

“I want to touch you touch you, with my hands.” I breathed into a long slow kiss.

“Go at your own pace Nico, whatever you want to do. “

I couldn’t look at him, but I reached under his waist band. The length I felt in my hand was big and heavy and so fucking hard. I began to stroke him as I did myself. I had never touched another man like this and the reeling feeling running through me was intoxicating. 

“Nico, Nico can I touch you?”

“How?”

“Can I run my hands up your back and under your shirt?”

I thought for a split second but nodded at him. Will had made sure to show me that I could trust that his hands don’t go anywhere he hasn’t told me. I felt overly soft fingers reach up my shirt and the first thing I thought was that Wills hands didn’t feel masculine, I liked that. Kept me from feeling super triggered. Sure, I had a weird mix of Trigger and Lust running inside me as he writhed beneath me. One of my hands wound tightly in his hair and mouths still constantly connected as we touched. The build in my stomach from last time was happening again, I was ready this time. 

“Will, I’m close.”

“Me to, if you don’t want to feel my cum on you move your hand now.”

I immediately pulled my hand off him and plunged in straight into my own only bothering to unbutton the top. Copying me he dove for himself without thought, forehead to forehead we moaned and came together without exposure. After we released we kind of just melted into each other. It was hard to imagine that he did this with other people. Every experience we had seemed so genuine. I knew I couldn’t ask him about it, if I did all I would be able to do is obsess on it. Its nice to pretend that this is an us thing, its also nice to know that this is limited. Only eight more times after this, instead of wondering when this will end, I know when it will. It made me cherish the time we did have and not fear that it would end to early. I could enjoy this time together without fear of him rejecting me.

Sitting up slightly we pulled our hands from our pants and I found myself collapse against him, the slight stiffening and then relaxing of his chest made me realize he didn’t expect me to do that. My head sat right under his chin comfortably. Still coming down he gave me a slight warning that he was going to wrap his arms around me by just saying the word “hips” and settling his hands there. I loved it.

“Are you ok? Do you need anything?”

“I’m ok, just coming down.”

“Nico, you are beautiful.”

Surprised at his words I pulled me head up to look at him in the eyes.

“I’m not…”

“Yes, you are.” And he pecked me on the lips to shut me up. 

“Do you like that we do this?”

“Are you asking if I find you attractive?”

“Yes.”

“You are probably the most attractive patient I’ve ever helped, I shouldn’t say that, but I don’t want to lie to you to take away from my compliment, it was a real compliment.”

“See but how am I supposed to know that it’s not a line?”

Looking down at my hands he took one of his off my hip and grabbed one of my hands, looking at the hand he reached for I noticed a small glob of arousal was on my index finger. Without breaking eye contact he brought my finger to his lips and slipped it into his mouth. The encompassing heat surrounded my finger as his tongue licked and swirled around the digit and sucking the white liquid off it.

FUCK!

“You taste sweet.”

This guy was going to be the end of me, how was he going to top this with session three?


	3. Session three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicos gender switches, The therapy gets more intense and Nico is naked for the first time with another person.

I was reeling from my second session with Will and I wouldn’t see him again for eight days. The therapy was working so well that during the week I was actually going out and seeing people. I was less nervous in crowded places and found myself buying new clothes that fit me better than my old ones, clothes that made me feel attractive. I wanted to feel attractive. If after this type of therapy was done and works, I am going to make sure my money bags of a father donates to his grant. So far, I was willing to talk my dad into donating now, I haven’t felt this good in years. Reyna was even seeing a change in me and teasing me about it every chance she got. I didn’t know what to expect at the next session, but I was excited. 

 

Through the week I found myself masturbating, I barely touched myself after the attack because it was triggering. I never could watch porn because of it, I read erotica instead. I found myself feeling very female before the session, so I applied light make up, shaving smooth and a little powder and foundation. Thick black eyeliner and a smoky eyeshadow that sparkled and shined. I was getting dressed before heading over and found myself wanting to wear a skirt, I found a flowy black BoHo skirt and super femme Asymmetrical tank top. I felt really pretty for the first time in women’s clothing, especially in the underwear underneath. 

 

I knocked at his door only to hear him yell for me to come in, I spotted him over in the living room area sitting in the chair we sat in at the first session. The table next to the chair I would be taking had hot chocolate and a few cookies laid out for me, Oreos my favorite. Walking over he stood and reached for my hand and kissed it.

 

“You look beautiful today.”

 

“No, not really I just felt a bit…”

 

“Female today? Doesn’t make you any less beautiful. Learn to take compliments Nico, they are rightfully earned. I will never patronize you. I think you look beautiful.”

 

“Thank you.” I blushed and looked down.

 

“Shall I use Female pronouns today?”

 

“Ummm yeah sure, I’ve never asked anyone to do that before, but this might be a nice try out with them I guess.”

 

“Good, I agree. Sit let’s talk before we get into session.”

 

“ok.” I felt a little nervous. Was I in trouble?

 

Sitting down I picked my cup up and took the sweet liquid in my mouth. It was the best I’ve ever had, you can tell he makes it over the stove with real chocolate and real whipped cream on top.

 

“I just want to see where you are right now, you look a little guilty. You are not in trouble so stop squirming like you are.” He chuckled the last sentence and it made me relax.

 

“I’m fine, I guess?”

 

“When did you switch to female this week? Or has it been more Flux?”

 

“Early yesterday, I have stayed that way since.”

 

“Do you think its because of last session?”

 

“Yes and no, I have always gone in and out of it, but it may have been triggered because of our therapy. At least my being comfortable with it, I’ve never left the house in these types of clothes before.”

 

“Well you chose great things; may I ask you something inappropriate?”

 

“I have touched your dick, of course.”

 

“Ha fair enough, are you wearing a bra and female panties?”

 

“I am actually.”

 

“Good, I love that you are embracing this side of yourself.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Tell me, have you felt triggered at all with our sessions? I need to know so I can either move forward or back up. Also, what triggered you if you were.”

 

“Last session I was slightly triggered because you weren’t cuffed, but I really liked that you told me where you were going to touch me. That let me calm down about it, the only problem I find with that is after we stop seeing each other it’s not like I can ask my partner to warn me every time they touch me.”

 

“Why not? Why couldn’t you ask someone to warn you? I think that perfectly acceptable to ask that of someone, lay your boundaries Nico.” 

 

I thought that over as I ate one of the cookies, he was right. I could ask that. Would it be weird? Yes, but maybe he was right, someone who couldn’t understand is a person I shouldnt be with anyway. Hopefully I would be able to get over it so that I wouldn’t have to with this therapy.

 

“You are not wrong, so what are we doing today?”

 

“Oh, are you excited about the physical portion today?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good, that makes me happy Nico. That’s a breakthrough! You wanting to be physical with me without me initiating it! I am so proud of you!”

 

Wills words heated something inside me, its been a while since someone said they were proud of me. An unfamiliar feeling of my eyes burning over took my face. Tears pricked my eyes and I waved my hand in front of them to keep them from coming. Getting up from his chair I noticed he was wearing black yoga pants and a long bedtime looking shirt that matched, we matched. Sitting on the footstool he took my hand all the while telling me he was going to reach for it.

 

“Are you ok?”

 

“Its just been a while since someone said they were proud of me.”

 

“Well I am. Today we can do a few different things and you get to choose which one we do. We can work on you being naked with someone with no sexual touching, ill handcuff myself again if that makes you more comfortable. We can sexually touch with clothes on, like I could reach up your skirt and touch you with permission. Or we could if you are feeling brave, touch sexually while naked, no penetrative sex, I won’t go near that area I promise! Just touching the front of each other.” He had both of his hands massaging my hand while he talked, and it calmed me down and relaxation over came me, was he a fucking hypnotist? I thought about the three options, a part of me really wanted to skip straight to the last option. I couldn’t bring myself to do that yet, maybe next time. I have a clothing option…but he would touch me…not quite ready for that yet either. The naked part really intrigued me though, maybe he would let me mix them.

 

“How about we are naked, but you are handcuffed, and I can touch you sexually without worrying that you are going to touch me?”

 

“That’s a great compromise and lets me know where you are at in the therapy, good choice, let’s go pretty girl.”

 

I blushed at him calling me a pretty girl, I loved it. Walking me over hand in hand we came to the bed. I know the handcuffs he uses are self-release, but I trusted him not to do it, he didn’t do it last time. Sitting on the bed he motioned for me to take his shirt off for him. Pulling the cashmere feeling fabric over his body I saw those well-built muscles that I had been dreaming about. Still lean but well defined. Scooting over the bed he cuffed himself to the headboard. I took my shoes off and climbed up on the bed. Reaching for his waistband I took his pants and underwear off in one foul swoop all while keeping my eyes closed. 

 

“You can look at me Nico, don’t be afraid, you are strong enough for this.”

 

Opening my eyes, I saw him fully naked for the first time and my mouth watered, damn. I ran my hands over his legs before pulling the rest of the pants off and throwing them to the side. Will had a beautiful dick. Half hard and dusty pink, completely straight and circumcised. 

 

“Your turn Girlie.”

 

Damn, ok I can do this. I started to reach for my hem and my hands started shaking.

 

“Hey, its ok you don’t have to yet. Why don’t you touch me a little before you remove yours?”

 

“Ok.” Wow its like he could see right into me.

 

Crawling over him I did what I usually do when I start off with him, I laid my head on his chest to listen to his heart. This was the safe space, this was the best way for me to start. My hands started to explore him and like before and he is leaning into my touches and cooed. I love the little noises he makes, you always think of men being silent in bed, but I had a feeling that Will makes noise during sex. I really hope we get far enough in the therapy that I get to find out. I kissed him as I have done before, and I swear it was more addicting than any drug I could ever use. Will was an amazing kisser. Instead of staying with his face I started kissing all over his body and working my way down. I was at his navel and could feel his full erection hitting my clavicle. Here goes nothing. I kissed the tip of my first dick. It was slightly wet with a dew of pre cum and I licked my lips to taste him, fuck it was delicious. I open mouth kissed it from tip to base, Will was not silent. Moaning up a storm he encouraged it without doing something stupid like bucking his hips, he kept his body very still while I had my mouth there. 

 

Sitting up and pulling off him I pulled the hem of my shirt up and off, then I did the same with my skirt. I sat before him in a bralette and a black silk G-string.

 

“Baby girl you look amazing. Better than I imagined and that’s saying something. Did you match your underwear just for me?”

 

“Yeah, I did.”

 

“Well I feel really special right now because that’s the only underwear you should ever buy. Seriously you are rocking that, Fuck!”

 

The words filled me like strong wine. Emboldening me to go further with him. I bend my head down again and placed his tip in my mouth. I was giving my first ever blowjob and I didn’t feel triggered. Well to be fair the boy who hurt me never made me do this, Blowjobs were not involved in the assault. Now that I had a dick in my mouth I was super happy it wasn’t because I never want to be triggered while doing this. I loved doing this. The texture and the taste made me shiver with passion and gave my panties quite a tent.

 

“Oh, baby girl you are doing so good, that feels amazing.”

 

Listening to him affirm my gender made me feel so good, Will always made me feel good. I didn’t know if I was ok with him cumming in my mouth, that might be to much. 

 

“Do you have any Lube?”

 

“Yeah, under the bed near the foot.”

 

I got off the bed to look for the tube and bent over giving him a good view of my ass, I heard him groan at the sight and felt elated. If Will was faking being attracted to me he was doing an amazing job. Grabbing the tube of something called Slickquid I uncapped it and rubbed it to warmth in both my hands.

 

“I’m going to pull my panties down and push myself against you and rub us to the finish.”

 

“I’m not sure if you are just letting me know what you are doing or if you are talking dirty to me, either way I love it.”

 

“maybe both?”

 

“Keep going, talk me through it.”

 

Nervous as I was I peeled the front of my underwear down to expose my dick to him, his eyes widened, and he licked his lips. Lubing up his arousal next to time I touched them together. Will was about two inches bigger than I was but just about as thick. Taking both my hands I rubbed them up and down in a quick rhythm. 

 

“I like the way you feel in my hands.”

 

“I like your hands, I love your mouth more.”

 

“I like you in my mouth, I just wasn’t ready to swallow.”

 

“If it makes you feel better most people don’t like to swallow.”

 

“Do you?”

 

“I live for it, I love the flavor and the texture and the warmth. I love the way you taste. Licking it off your finger last time was delicious.”

 

Wow he just cut my time in half with those words, he liked the way I taste. No, he loved the way I taste. Pupils blown wide he was moaning now. I felt his balls tighten up and soon he was jolting into my hand and his cum splattered between us. Some hit my chin and got on my Bra. The rest went all over him.

 

“Can I cum in your mouth?”

 

“Please oh Gods Yes Please!”

 

Quickly I rushed up and placed the tip of my dick at his lips and he wrapped them around it, the feeling was amazing and overwhelming, I came as soon as his tongue swirled along my slit and I shot into his mouth forcefully. I don’t think I had ever came so hard. Milking me dry with his mouth I clutched his hair taking in the over sensation. Pulling away from him something overcame me, and I began to lick the cum off his chest.

 

“Fuck Nico! Fuck that’s hot.”

 

I tasted him at my own pace and I really loved it, I felt sexy and bold hearing him bellow about how much me licking him clean turned him on.

 

“Can I uncuff myself?”

 

“What are you going to do?”

 

“I am going to wait for you to pull your panties back over your dick and then I would like to kiss and cuddle, ill tell you where ill touch you. I promise to not touch your backside.”

 

I thought about it for a long moment, but I nodded. Undoing the cuffs, I pulled the silk back over myself. Sitting up he grabbed my hands and pulled me into his lap. Telling me each time he moved his hand somewhere. We kissed, well we made out. Only breaking for air and change of hand position. Will never went lower than my hips, he ran his fingers over my Bralette and licked the cum off my chin. The sun was gone by the time our stomachs started to growl.

 

“Fuck we have been making out for two hours.”

 

“Are you serious?!”

 

“Yeah, I hope I didn’t keep you from anything.”

 

“You didn’t, but I do think I need some food now.”

 

“Well I don’t usually do this but…You are different. Why don’t we order Chinese and Cuddle on the couch and watch some movies?”

 

“I would love that actually.”

 

“Good, let me get you some clean clothes.”

 

I rolled off him as he went to get me an oversized but very comfortable lounge wear for me to put on.

 

“Hope you like Mandarin Court, they deliver sushi.”

 

“That sounds great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys are liking this!


	4. Session four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico confesses what happens to him and makes another big step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings  
> -mentions on rape  
> -hate speech

Session four

All week I’ve been laying in my bed thinking about my last session with Will. Ordering sushi, we laid in the couch in “our position” with me laying on his chest feeding the other one with chopsticks. Confiding in me that he has never done this with a patient, but felt it might be a great step. Learning normal intimacy without the expectation of sex. I loved it, I loved the physical contact without worrying about sex. We laughed, told stupid stories about our childhoods. It was the most wonderful night of my life. I felt intimacy on two different levels, both sexual and mental. I wasn’t sure if Will was just an amazing doctor that was really good at this type of therapy, or if I was falling for him. I couldn’t let myself though, I have to keep in mind that he is doing this with other people. That the girl that left the office at my first session was most likely naked and spread on the bed not an hour before I arrived. Our fourth session was coming up and I was getting more and more antsy as the impending day came, I was becoming addicted to intimacy. 

***four days later***

Once again with the notes. 

“Just walk on in Nico I’m getting out of the shower.”

Oh gods he was in the shower! I walked into the apartment and heard the water running from the back. Another bedroom was here, not the bed in the living room, but another bed. Wills bed. It was really cute, blues and creams all over the walls. Pictures littered everything around him of what I could only guess were his many siblings he talked about last session. Will was one of five apparently. The room was slightly messy, not dirty just clutter. I called out to him to let him know I was here. 

“Ok well you have two choices, either wait at the chairs or join me.” He said with a giggle in his voice. Will was always in a good mood, it was contagious. 

“What if I do want to join you.” I said playfully back at him through the door. 

“Then you better hurry because I just washed the conditioner out and I’m about to soap up and be done.”

I found myself moving without thought. What was I doing, before I knew it I was taking my clothes off in the bathroom until I found myself naked and reaching for the shower stall door. Opening it up I saw Will’s beautiful body being run over with hot water and lathering up a loofa. The look in his eyes was sort of shocked, he didn’t seem to think I would join him. To be fair... neither did I. Wow, this was what trust felt like. Stepping into the shower and under the rush of hot water, I could feel my my hair dampen and stick to my skin. Will hadn’t tried to touch me. Then he spoke very carefully. 

“Would you like to wash me?”

“Yes.”

Handing me the soaped up sponge I began to rub down his freckle splayed skin. Will and I were getting more and more of these intimate moments that had nothing to do with sex, yet for the first time I found myself wanting to have sex. I want to have sex with Will. I want to have sex with him more than I’ve ever wanted to have sex with anyone. I washed all over his body, including his half hard cock and sculpted ass. 

“How are you doing? Do you feel triggered?”

“No, actually I’m really turned on.”

“I can see that, do you want to do anything?”

“I want to have Sex with you.”

“I didn’t think you would want to have sex this quickly, in-fact I didn’t think you would want to until the last session.”

“Well ummm... I want to have sex with you... I don’t want you to have sex... with me.” 

“Oh, well there is lube right over there in the shower caddy. I’m pretty prepped already, always am before a session. How about I get on my knees and keep my hands on the glass and you do whatever you want to do with me, I won’t move I promise. “

Reaching out to his face I brought him down to me for a kiss. Keeping his hands on the walls. I was beginning to shake in anticipation. I was going to lose my virginity. 

“Nico, you don’t have to. You can save this for someone special. “ he said as he broke the kiss. 

“You are special. I want to, I want to know what it’s like. I don’t know if I’ll find someone that I can trust like I trust you. One day maybe, but right now I want you and I can’t remember the last time I wanted someone. “

“Well I promise I won’t move or touch you ok. I know this will be scary with no cuffs, but we need to try it with no cuffs.” A thumb circled my cheek as he said it. 

“I’m nervous but I want to. I’m ready, just... just please don’t move.” I said the last part with my eyes closed as if I was afraid of his reaction, even though if there was anyone in this world that would be ok with this, it would be Will. With a final long lust filled kiss he lowered him self and turned around. Grabbing the “shower lube” I slicked my dick and got on my knees. 

I wish I could have been more romantic about this, or just smoother. I worked my way up to it by massaging his back and backside, running my hands up his thighs and around his stomach, the change in his breathing was giving me strength. I loved that he was turned on by me, made this easier. Reaching around I felt how hard he was and the noise he made was so erotic. I lined myself up to push in and then.... 

Fuck I need a condom. 

“Wha.. what’s the matter, are you triggered? Do we need to stop?”

“No, no I just realized I don’t have protection.”

“Shit of course. Ummm there are some in the drawer under the sink.”

“Why there?”

“Do you really want to know?” He said looking over his shoulder with a smirk.

“Yes, I do.”

“I don’t like to make a mess when I jerk off in the bathroom. “

Laughing hysterically I fell backwards in the shower stall and hit my head on the glass. Turning around he was also laughing and tending to me to make sure I was ok, but I couldn’t stop laughing. 

“Gods damn it Will I’m trying to have Sex with you!”

“I know I’m ruining it.” He laughed and snorted.

“I’m ok, I am. Just go get the condom.”

Still laughing he left the stall and returned with an opened condom. 

“May I put it on you?”

It hit me that I’ve never put one on and he might actually have to show me how. It would be the first time I let him touch my dick with his hands. I braced myself as I nodded at him to continue. Keeping one hand on the stall wall he rolled the condom down my now cleaned off cock. Taking the lube I handed it to him.

“You.. y-you can l-lube it up if you w-want.”

Never taking his eyes off me he gave me a few lazy strokes, all laughter gone from the scene. It was the first time I let someone touch me, the first time I let him touch me. Without words he kissed me again as he finished the last couple strokes and turned around. Getting back into my original position I lined up and took and breath. I couldn’t do it. I was missing something. 

“Will, can we do this on the bathroom floor instead of in here? I need to do something first.”

“Yes of course. Getting up off the shower floor and turning the water off he moved us two feet away and put down big fluffy towels. 

“Lay on your back and keep your hands under your head.”

Obeying he did so, never losing arousal what so ever. I climbed on top on him and laid my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. I felt him relax and his outtake of breath in a relieved sigh.

“I thought this might be what you wanted.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, it’s your safe space with me, I really like it. “

“Good, I like it too.”

“Did you want to have sex like this or did you want me to turn around again?”

“Turn around. Please.”

“Ok Nico.”

After a few minutes of getting in my safe space with him he turned around and got on all fours. This was better, I needed that ritual with him. Plus it gave me an excuse to press my dick against his. I pushed slowly into his enveloping heat. 

F.U.C.K!!!

Will was loose, easy to slip into. I started shallow and began to pick up my pace. Will was moaning up a storm. My arms wrapped around his waist and my ear pressed against his back and I found that I could hear his heart from his back as well. It centered me again. All worries of triggers floated away as I knew his hands would stay on the ground. It didn’t last very long. I came very quickly at the new sensation. Once I climaxed a rush of confidence coursed into me as I pulled out and motioned for him to flip over. Placing his hands back under his head I lowered my mouth onto him to make sure he also got to finish. Swallowing the beauty that was Wills dick, he tapped my shoulder to warn me he was close. I didn’t move this time. I kept going until I felt warm salty arousal spurt thick inside my mouth. 

Wow, that was almost as amazing as the moans and wails that left his mouth... including shouting my name as he came. Bliss rolled over me. The afterglow hit me in the face and I climbed back onto him in my safe space. 

“I’m going to place my arms on your waist.”

“Ok.”

“How do you feel?”

“I feel... amazing. I feel really good.”

“I’m really proud of you Nico. You took a lot of really big strides today.”

“What were we going to do?”

“I was thinking of some talking and maybe trying to convince you to let me touch you.”

“Well we didn’t talk but I guess I did let you touch me.”

“Yeah, I guess I did a little didn’t I?”

“Yeah, I don’t know what came over me. I just... I just wanted to have sex. I’ve never really wanted to have sex until 20 minutes ago. “

“How’s it feel to no longer be a Virgin.”

“I don’t know yet. Right now it just feels like a weight is off my shoulders. Maybe that’s why I just went for it. Get it over with.”

“Well we don’t have to have sex again after this unless you want to. Or did you want this to be your last session?” A little worry laced his voice at the question.

“No, I have a goal now.”

“What’s the goal?”

“I want to have sex... without being triggered. I want to be able to bottom without being triggered. I like knowing I can do this if I’m on top. That’s important, but I want to be able to bottom.”

“Why is that so important to you?”

“Because before the attack I wanted to be the bottom, I always imagined myself that way. I remember liking my prostate hit with my fingers.”

“Oh yes, you hit mine right on the money. I haven’t enjoyed anal that much in years.”

“It was like super short.” I laughed.

“Yet your dick made all the difference. It felt really good inside me. You feel good inside me.”

“I want to feel you inside me. Can we do that in six sessions?”

“Well, I don’t know. This is a special circumstance. You have a realistic goal. I might have to... I would need more time.”

“Are you saying we need more than 6 sessions to get me to the point of anal sex?”

“Yes. My research revolves around ten sessions, but maybe this is a different type of research? A more intimate one?”

“How so?”

“Well, hmmmm can we get dressed and go sit on the couch for this I’m starting to get cold. “

“Yeah.”

Getting up off the ceramic tile we walked into Will’s bedroom and he handed me some of his oversized comfy clothes, mine got wet. I looked at his king sized bed, his bed. I crawled on it and starfished in the middle. I loved a big bed. Rolling around I inhaled his scent and took in the softness of the blankets.

“Would you rather stay in here?”

“Are you ok with that?”

“Yes, scooch!”

Cuddling up next to me I felt his nose in my neck, taking in my scent. We settled into a nice side by side cuddle facing eachother so we could talk. If you would have told me a month ago that I would be cuddled with a man in his bed I would have punched you.

But this felt so.... right.

“Well, this is new territory. For me anyway. I can’t discuss my patients but I have been treating you different than them. I want to let you know that you are technically my last patient in my research. The girl you met in the hall on our first session, that was her last session. I’ve only been seeing you. I think it’s important to see one patient at a time. 10 weeks and then on to the next patient or patients. Since you are the last one I don’t necessarily have to stop at 10 weeks. We do need to put a number on it though. Let’s say 15 sessions. If we can’t get you there in 15 sessions then that tells me how much work still needs to be done.”

“I would be ok with that.” His confession made me feel special. Will breaks the rules with me and part of me really liked that, gave me a specialness I could never achieve on my own. 

“If we are going to work toward that goal then I have to ask you to do something you are going to hate.”

“You want me to tell you about my assault.”

“Yes, you don’t have to get detailed but I do need to know the basics so I can move forward to getting you to a point of achieving your goal. “

Closing my eyes I took a few deep breaths. Sitting up I motioned him to get into “our position.” Understanding instantly he moved for me to lay on him. Steeling myself I found the courage to tell him, of course I could tell him. I trusted him. Will has given me no reason not to trust him and even let me inside his body. If anyone deserves to know, it’s him.

“It was in a locker room. I was dressing after PE. Some guy from the football team was teasing me. Calling me a fag and just being a total asshole. I ignored him. He didn’t like that. Before I could get my pants up he pushed me, I fell on the bench. Holding me down with one hand by my neck I felt him pull my underwear down. I heard him spit and I felt it hit me. Then he shoved himself in me. I don’t know how long it was. It was short I do know that. After he was done he spit in my face and left me there. Telling me that if I told on him he would kill me. I just stayed there frozen. The gym teacher found me, I hadn’t moved to cover myself and I was bleeding apparently. He called 911. I didn’t have to tell them what happened, they saw the guy leave on the camera in the hallway and matched his DNA with what he... left. I was in the hospital for a day getting stitches. I saw a regular therapist after that and he was charged and put away. He would get out when he was 18, so I moved across the country with Reyna. That way I wouldn’t run into him. I found out last year he died. Drove drunk and killed himself off a backroad. It was the happiest day of my life when I heard that news. Which makes me an awful person.”

“Nico, that doesn’t make you a bad person. The kid hurt you. I’m not saying he deserved to die, but you deserve to feel safe.”

“Well that’s my story.”

“It’s a sad story. I hope I can help you.”

“If anyone can help me, you can.”

I felt him squeeze my waist with his hands. Will is the only one that can replace that monsters touch with something safe, something better. A sense of normality. 

Only Will.


	5. Session Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico lets Will touch him in new ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update I just found out I was pregnant and it took over my life for a minute.
> 
> Frequently asked questions.
> 
> I'm in first trimester, no it wasn't planned but is welcomed I am a good age to have my first baby and am older than you all might think I am. Think about it like this, I'm old enough that everyone is happy I'm pregnant not questioning it lol. I am in a stable home and have a decent day job so everything will be fine and well, no I will not stop writing these stories I love doing this to much to stop so I am not going anywhere!

This week went by faster than any week since Will and I started our sessions. When I got home the night after the last one Reyna had me spill everything. I had finally had sex, real sex, not rape. I told her how it was my idea and how accommodating he was about everything and how I let him put the condom on me. Reyna did however give me a sideways look when I told her that we were extending the sessions to 15. Of course, she accused me of falling for him and him for me, I set her straight in her assumptions. Sure, Will is hot and sweet and well… everything I was looking for in a man but he was a doctor and I was helping him with research and he was helping me become the form of normal that was right for me. I would never say being sexual is normal, I have an asexual friend that has never shown any interest and I have never once thought it wasn’t normal for them, its just not normal for me. Sex was something I wanted since I hit puberty, its just the joy of it was stolen away, and this man was helping me get it back. 

 

When I was headed over to the apartment office I could smell something wonderful in the hallway, Will wanted me to come over early around 11 this time instead of a mid afternoon session. Opening the door, I saw him dancing around the kitchen in his usual Yoga pants and tight T-shirt barefoot. 

“What’s all this?” I chuckled as he seemed to be finishing up the meal in front of him, stir fry and fried rice. 

“I thought I would make us some lunch, do you have plans today at all?” he said while plating food for us.

“Nope cleared my day incase things ran long here.”

“Good, todays session is going to last from now until late tonight.”

We went to sit on the couch with hot steaming bowls, I sat down holding both bowls as he went to get us something to drink.

“Blackberry Sage Lemonade! Made it last night. Go ahead and dig in while I talk about what’s on the menu today. Today we are going to explore a closer form of intimacy, so we are going to hang out all day. We don’t have to do anything sexual if you are not up for it, but we are going to explore touch. Am going to touch you today with no cuffs. We don’t have to be naked, but I need to work on you allowing me to touch you without triggers. So, after we finish this the first thing we are going to do is get into your safety position and then go from there, that ok?”

Eating the most delicious food ever created, I began to roll the idea around in my head and took a few more bites before I answered him, also giving him room to eat. Oddly the thought sounded wonderful. I wanted to be able to be touched. Finally, I nodded at him, smiling he took more bites of his food. 

“Maybe tonight I can make you some Italian food for dinner?”

“Oh, I never turn down someone making me a meal, pronouns today?”

“Male, I was feeling female all yesterday, but it changed this morning.”

“Good to know. Let me take your bowl.” Handing him my empty bowl he headed off to the kitchen as I sipped the lemonade, damn is there anything he can’t do? This was the best food and lemonade I had had in years, a man after my own heart. Coming back over I moved so he could lay on his back on the couch. Straddling his waist, I lowered my head to his heart getting in our safe space. This really centered me doing this, hearing his heart under my ear. Without warning I felt hands run through my hair, more surprising is that it wasn’t triggered. I trusted Will, wow I think that was the first time I ever admitted that to myself. Moving on top of him I leaned up to kiss him, damn his lips could start and end wars in a single twirl of his tongue. I moaned into his mouth as I tasted the flavor of our lunch and what I can only describes as his own unique flavor as I licked inside of his mouth with vigor. 

Ten minutes of hard core making out and the clothes started to shed, honestly, I was surprised it took that long. Asking permission before taking each article off until we were both in our underwear. 

“Did you want to move to the bedroom?”

“Which bed? Yours or the living room one?”

“Mine?”

“Yes, I like that one better.”

“Can I carry you?”

“Really?”

“I am nothing if not chivalrous.”

Blushing I reached up as he scooped me up in his arms bridal style making me squeal. I bounced on the bed as he sat me down rather clumsily. Getting on the bed he was just in a pair of yellow briefs that could have blinded me they were so bright. Sitting on his knees he waited for me to situate. 

“What do we do now? Sorry this just got kinda weird didn’t it?” I said shyly as I sat cross legged at the head of his bed. 

“Well for the moment I’m going to stay right here, and it’s not weird this is a new thing we are doing. I want you to kind of roll around in the blankets and sheets without me and get accustomed to the smell and feel of everything first then we will go from there.” The tone of his voice was confident like he had a plan.

I did as he asked even though I felt slightly silly in doing so. I felt the soft cotton and inhaled the musky scent of him covering the sheets. I couldn’t even tell you what it really smelled like, it was in its own category that was just Will. It was manly I can say that for certain, maybe like leather and teakwood with a hint of laundry detergent. The pillow was slightly different with a coconut smell. Once I was familiar I settled back into the middle awaiting his instructions. 

“Lay down, we are going to try something that’s going to make you uncomfortable, but I want you to try to work through it. Call safewords if you need to and I promise ill back off ok?”

“Ok.” My voice was shaky as I laid down. What was he going to do, I really hope he didn’t reach for my ass, to soon. 

Will crawled up and climbed on top of me, knees on the side of my hips and his forearms on either side of my head caging me in, ok this was hard. My breathing started to quicken, I had to try though. 

“What are you going to do?” I trembled below him almost to the point of being terrified.

“Nothing, ok I might kiss your mouth but I’m not touching you in this position. You just need to feel what its like to have someone on top of you. I want to do some breathing ok? We are going to inhale for five seconds, hold for six, and exhale for seven, you got that.” I nodded at him.

Beginning to breath in he counted to five then when it came to hold he kissed me and moaned six beats then pulled away and counted to exhale for seven. This happened three times, at the end of the third round he dipped and blew a raspberry on my neck making me laugh.

“Color?”

“Green, wow green. I’m ok, I wasn’t at first, but I am now.” Smiling at me he kissed my forehead. Sitting back up he motioned for me to sit at an angle while he was on his kneed between my legs. 

“You did really great, thank you for trusting me. Ok now I am going to touch you all over your front, we won’t do the back unless you want to. For now, just the front.”

“I can’t do the back today, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry but know that next session we are going to attempt that.”

“Ok ill keep that in mind, ok I am ready.”

Starting from the top of my head he trailed his fingers into my face and along the planes. The touch was almost to light. Tracing lines down my nose and cheekbones, dragging his thumbs along my jawline. It was like a weird massage and someone casting a spell on you wrapped into one. Then over my collar bones and along my chest.

“Harder.”

Nodding at me he applied more pressure and was smiling at my query. Drawing down toward my stomach and lower abdomen he used his nails to lightly scratch and then kneaded it with his fingertips. I was shaking again only this time it was with arousal. Thumbs circled my hips and he made his way toward my tenting cock only to avoid it all together and do a fake out. Laughing I pushed his chest playfully. With much more pressure he started to massage my thighs. I found myself spreading my legs for him. Backing up he worked from my calves down to my feet. It was the most erotic and intimate thing we had ever done and that includes the sex. I was thanking every god I knew that I had “cleaned the pipes “before I came over or I might have done something embarrassing. I was already pooling a wet spot on my gray briefs. 

“How was that?”

“Good, Green.”

“Ok, what do you want me to do to you, players choice.” That smirk crossed his face that made me blush all over my body.

“I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

“Ok here ill give you a couple choices. I could cage you in again and we can make out or I can lay down on my stomach between your legs and you let me blow you.”

Fuck both of those sounded incredibly appealing and horrific at the same time. Touching me, either way he was touching me. The touch exercise wasn’t bad but the caging in was harder. Guess I know which one I’m choosing.

“B-blowjob.”

“Are you certain? You sound unsure.”

“Let’s try and see, ill make sure that I give you colors if my status changes.”

“Ok, take off your underwear, ill do it to so you don’t have to be the only one vulnerable.”

Nodding I thumbed my briefs down and pulled them off my legs, as he did the same I took in his body again, so beautiful and perfect, every freckle. Spreading my legs with apprehension he lowered himself so that his hands were firm on my hips, then his mouth started to lick around the area in which my cock stood straight up begging to be sucked. This would be my first real blowjob, me sticking my already spurting member into his mouth didn’t count. Bobbing his head up and down slow while keeping eye contact was intense, not only was it an amazing feeling but I couldn’t tear my gaze away. Wills talented tongue swirled, and his cheeks hollowed. I was building slowly but I wanted more, or at least my body did. I massaged his shoulders and gripped his hair. Telling him to stop I pulled him in for a long kiss. I was sitting for upright now and this tall guy was in my lap holding onto the headboard as we kissed. I could feel his wet tip bounce against my stomach. Without warning I moaned and said, “I want you so bad.” It just popped out of my mouth without permission!!

“How do you want me?”

“Like this? Doing this?”

“Nico, do you want to have sex?”

“Yes, is that ok? Or does it take away from the exercise we are doing?”

“It doesn’t if you let me ride you and touch you.”

“You want to ride me, god damn that sounds so fucking hot. Fuck yeah ok, get me a condom please.”

“So proper, you are adorable.”

Reaching into the side drawer he handed me the condom and squirted some lube into his hands. Handing me the lube bottle he sat back and laid down slightly, spreading his legs he reached for his hole with his lubed fingers and began to stretch himself lewdly in front of me. I don’t know what I did to deserve this show but ill do it again and again and again! Gasping his name as I put on the condom and lubed myself up he finished and crawled back to me to sit. Balancing his hands on my shoulders he told me to line up and push in. Feeling him slide down my cock with his warm wet heat was even better than last time. Yes, I was under him, but it didn’t feel like that, I still felt in control. We built a steady rhythm, him cupping my face to kiss me and look me in the eyes as he let me take his body for my own. I started imagining myself in his position, damn I wanted that one day. The look on his face was perfection and I wanted that look on my face. I wanted to feel him inside me one day, from that moment I knew that’s what I wanted more than anything by the end of this. I started realizing that the noise I was hearing was my own voice, I was making noise during sex. The more noise I made the faster he rode me, he really liked that it seemed. Harshly gasping out my name he grabbed my hand to touch him. I was rubbing him to the rhythm he rode me and with a sharp cry he unloaded all over my chest and some even hit my face, in turn I came screaming his name. Once he was done riding us through, he climbed off and picked me up practically to switch us around. I was sitting on his stomach and he slowly took the condom off me and tied it off to throw in in the waste basket next to the bed. I collapsed against his chest heaving harsh breath. I realized he flipped us so I could return to my safe position. I had never done this naked with his hands free and around me. I began to cry, no sob I was sobbing. 

“W-whats wrong with m-me?!”

“Nothing, you are just emotional after sex, its normal Nico just let it out.”

“Does everyone cry after sex? I didn’t cry last time!”

“Some people do, you were in to much shock last time I think. Plus, we didn’t go for very long last time either, this time we were having sex for almost forty minutes. Also, we looked at eachother and kissed during it which was very different from last time.”

“So, so this is good? This is ok.”

“This is great Nico, I’m so proud of you.” I could hear emotion in his voice as I looked up to see he was also tearing up. I kissed him hard through the tears, tangling my fingers in his curls. 

“So, what do we do for the rest of the day?”

“Well how about we shower, watch some TV then try this again?”

“So, we are having sex again later?”

“Only if you want to Nico. I meant more I would do the exercises again, keep touching through the day and into the night.”

“Ok, I can do that, I want to do that.”

Kissing again I lost myself in his safety once more, this was getting really intense and I was addicted to it.

Who knows what session six will hold.


	6. Session six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter filled with romance and pushing the limits.

Last session was otherworldly. Will and I spent over twelve hours just talking and touching, we had Sex four times. That night I had never slept so good. I could feel him on my body the next day and almost refused to shower because of it. That was three days ago. Texting me to make another appointment we agreed to meet up tomorrow, he wanted me to clear the day just like last time. I knew why of course, it wasn’t because of sex as much as this session will be one of the most difficult. We talked about it before I left last time. We would be working on him touching me from behind, the very thought of it made my heart race in the bad way. 

I had set a goal, a goal that I wanted to complete and Will was the only person that could get me there. Will was a miracle worker, in as little as five sessions he had turned me into a hormone filled teenager for the second time in my life. Of course, he explained that it feels that way because I was robbed of a normal teenage hood. I had suppressed these types of emotions and feelings, I was learning all over how to have them again. When my father told me about sex he went about it in a different way than most parents do, most parents tell you to wait for someone you love. Instead he told me to wait for someone I trusted. That trust was more important than love, that Love cannot blossom without perfect trust. 

My father was also the only one I had, I was lucky that he got me the best help possible after my attack. He didn’t blame me or say it was my fault like most fathers might say to their sons, he held me for hours in a hospital bed crying and telling me that it wasn’t my fault and that he would make that kid pay for what he did to me. The guy probably wouldn’t have served as long as he did if it wasn’t for my dad making sure the book was thrown at him. Making me feel safe was his number one priority, and that’s why he pays for Reyna and I to live out here. I know that Reyna is making sure my father “donates” to Will. With all the progress he has made I can’t blame her, Will said he would do this without donations and that I was worth helping for free. Maybe he’s a good actor, maybe he’s telling the truth, as long as I get better I don’t care. I want to be healthy and what can only be described as normal for me. 

(Time break)

It was a female day, it surprised me too. I was applying eyeliner when I heard my texts go off on my phone, “Rescue me “ by Tokio Hotel rang from over on my dresser and I smiled knowing who that song was assigned too. Looking at the screen it was Will asking which gender I was today.

Me: Are you here? Are you spying on me?

Dr. McSexy: No? Should I be?

Me: No, it’s just it’s a female day and it’s weird that you would be texting me that before our session.

Dr. McSexy: I was just setting up for our session and realized it might go differently if your gender switched. So now that I know I can make subtle changes. 

Me: Ok, can I ask what the difference is?

Dr.McSexy: I just want to start our interaction without to many questions in the beginning so it can flow smoother. 

Me: Sounds good. I’ll see you in an hour?

Dr.McSexy: C U soon gorgeous!

Me: see you ;)

After putting on some tight ripped jeans, some sexy lingerie, and a pink and black peasant top I ran out of the door. I almost tripped on my new heels. I felt really sexy today. Maybe I over did it because of that or maybe because I’m nervous. I’ve never worn heels in public, I was lucky though. I was short with makeup skills that helped me pass enough not to get stares. My hair was also long enough, almost to my shoulders. Once I had embraced the idea of my gender fluidity I started making choices to fit which gender I could switch to. For me I could be a boy or a girl, I knew some people could be more than two but for me it’s just those two... for now. 

***

Arriving at the door I reached for the knob only for it to be opened before I could reach it. Damn he looked good today, the halo of light shining from behind him didn’t help. 

“Come in beautiful.” Taking my hand he pulled me in and gave me a twirl. 

“Have you eaten?” I gigged and nodded at him. 

“Good.” With am excited smile he pulled me straight into his bedroom. I was blown away by what I saw, roses and Lillie’s amongst other varieties of flowers littered the room making it smell like heaven. Petals on the comforter of his bed, champagne and strawberries were on a TV tray with an ice bucket. It all took my breath away. Kissing the nape of my neck and pulling his arms around my waist I felt myself lean into him. 

“This is so.. Will, I can’t believe this. How did you... I don’t have words.” I breathed in a higher voice than normal. 

“Well, we are doing something that’s really hard today, if I’m going to put you through something that may trigger you than I thought some major romance was in order.”

Turning around in his arms I reached up and pulled his face to mine in an all consuming kiss. Humming into the kiss I felt him grab my hair almost roughly as I felt him come alive in front of me. 

“For this..(kiss)... what you just did ...(kiss)... you can have.. (kiss)... anything.” I felt a single tear fall from my eye. 

“Well than let’s get started, I need you out of these clothes, keep on your underwear and those sexy ass heels.” I trembled in excitement at him calling my heels sexy. I backed toward the bed taking my time to take my clothes off slowly. Not really a strip tease but I never took my eyes off his. In turn he took his clothes off til he was in black briefs, I laid on the up toward the top middle putting one leg over the other so he could see my legs properly in my heels. Bringing the tray closer to him he settled next to me facing the same direction as he poured us two glasses. Taking one I took a sip and recognized it.

“How can you afford this bottle?” I asked surprised. This was a very expensive bottle of champagne.

“Well these were donated by a patient of mines father for a special occasion. He gives me an allowance for gifts and tools.”

“My father did this?”

“He did, I don’t tell him details obviously but I told him you are doing very well in the treatment and have a realistic goal in mind that will take more sessions. After that I got a very large check and an expense account for you. Is that weird?” He took a bite of a strawberry.

“No, I’m glad he is helping you. You deserve it, I never dreamed I would be in my underwear itching to be touched by someone In just five weeks. You Dr. Solace are a miracle worker and miracle workers deserve a break.” I batted my mascara coated lashed at him. 

“Good.” He started feeding me strawberries and trailing his finger tips along my body and down my legs. 

“Baby girl you look like heaven. What is this color exactly that you are wearing?” Snapping the strap of my bra-let I told him it was called merlot, I had a matching panty and bra-let set I had ordered online. The dark contrasted well with my olive skin. We talked a little bit as we finished off the bottle of champagne. 

“Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Are you drunk?”

“No, more like very buzzed.”

“That’s what I was aiming for, I thought maybe getting you a little loose might help. I want you to have your mind, but I need you a little more daring for today.” He kissed me softly as he climbed on top of me and rolled us so that I was on top of him. We were starting now, I was in my safe position. I listened to his heart beat as I got into the mindset of sex. I felt myself harden as he played with hair. 

“Are you safe? Ready?” He asked. 

“Yes, what do you want me to do.” Pushing me up so that I was straddling his stomach he touched my face in a loving manner. 

“I want you to get on all fours and keep your underwear on, I am going to do the same. Remember the safewords, green for ok, yellow for I’m scared and getting close to my limit, and red for stop. Got it?”

“Yes.” I nodded as my breathing started to pick up. Getting off of him I did as he asked, I was nervous but he said we would stay in our underwear so that took some of the scary out of it. Well I had a thong on so my ass was pretty much on display, but the wine had really helped with me ignoring that. Walking over to the dresser he put on this beautiful romantic classical music, dark deep tones that were classic yet very erotic. 

“Close your eyes.”

“Yellow!”

“Baby girl, please. Just let me try and if you call red I’ll stop Ok?”

“O-ok”

Closing my eyes I prepared for his touch. When it came it was not what I expected. First it was air, him blowing slowly over my overly hot skin. He didn’t get on the bed, just blew air over my in certain spots. Then I felt something so light I almost collapsed at the sensation, a feather. Will was working a feather over the dips and curves of my body, working it in the rhythm of the music. Saliva pooled in my mouth at the erotic treatment I was being given. Will was touching me, but he was building up to using his own body. This was a painfully slow process that had me making an embarrassing mess of pre cum in my panties. I moaned at the light flicks and cooed at the quick taps. It felt like something you read in a cheesy romance novel. 

“You did so good baby girl. Now I want you to take your bra off and lay flat on your stomach.” 

“You take it off me.” I shot back playfully. I was trying to cover my restlessness with humor. Giggling at me he came up and took the bra-let off with his teeth. Fuck he was sexy, how dare he be so sexy. I laid down with my arms under my head. 

“I am going to give you a back massage, with oil. This includes your backside. Are you ok with that?” Waiting for my response I took a few deep breathes before I nodded. I trusted him, I needed to trust him. Bringing a lit candle off the dresser he placed it on the TV tray where the strawberries used to be.

“Do I have to close my eyes?”

“No not for this.”

“Ok, green.”

“Just relax sexy, I’m just going to give you a nice thorough massage.”

“Are we doing anything sex related today?”

“You don’t think we have been doing sex related stuff already?”

“I do, but I was just wondering how this is going to end, so I can prepare my mind. “

I heard him dip his fingers in the wax and work it into his hands, it was one of those candles that turned wax into massage oil. Staying silent for a moment I felt him sit on top of my butt. I thought I would be triggered but it was actually more funny in my mind, the idea of him sitting on my ass. Strong hands worked into my shoulders and I felt myself melt. Then he began to speak.

“Have you ever heard of inter-curial?”

“No, what’s that?”

Working his hands all over my back in a well practiced way I began to melt into his hands. 

“It means I want to have sex with you, but instead of penetrating you, I would put my penis between your thighs as you flex and I would Fuck your thighs until I cum. I would reach around and touch you during this so that you would climax as well, what are your thoughts?”

My mind started to race, that sounded so hot. Yet he would be putting his penis near my ass, I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I know I’m not ready for him to touch me there yet, at least not the hole. Telling him I would think about it I let him continue his ministrations. Occasionally he would compliment my body and kiss my oiled flesh. Moving down and reaching lower he found my ass with his hands, I could feel him tense as he made his way toward it. Weirdly enough I didn’t tense, I was to lost in the feeling of the massage to freak out. The music was hypnotic and I was still reeling from the buzz of the champagne. Strong pressure of his fingers kneaded into me and I moaned. Why has no one told me how good it felt to get your ass massaged?

“C-can my underwear stay on?”

Kissing my lower back.

“Yes.”

“Do I have to be facing down or can I see you?”

Kissing the top of my cheek.

“No, you can turn over and I can throw your legs over my shoulder and make love you to you that way.”

I groaned at the feel of his mouth kissing down the line of my thong. Fuck he was getting close to the No Zone. I couldn’t bring myself to safeword at it. It felt amazing, he always made me feel so wanted. 

“I’m going to try something that’s either going to be really good or really bad, I have to try though. Will you let me try?”

“Gods yes.” I moaned not really paying attention to what he was saying. I felt his tongue hook into the string of my underwear and grab it with his teeth, his hands stayed firmly on the backs of my knees. Pulling it slightly to the side I felt his tongue slide up the crack of my ass slow and wet until it got to my hole. I felt him kiss and drag the tip across the opening and I shuttered grabbed the pillow. I started to breath harshly as I felt what was my first ever rim job. I had to keep focus on the fact that his hands were on my knees, they didn’t go near where he was kissing. I was triggered, very triggered, but the lust and want overrode the trigger. It just felt so damn good. I felt his hand slip and yellow shot out of my mouth and he stopped and shot up. 

“Turn over.” He said softly.

Obeying he came up to kiss me, I should be grossed out. I wasn’t grossed out, I was keening into his kiss as he brought my legs over one of his shoulders. 

“Color?”

“Green.”

“You sure? You did just call yellow, would you like to stop?”

I leaned up to kiss him again as I thought about it. Am I triggered, slightly but it’s better now that he’s not down there anymore, did I like what he did before his hand slipped? Oh fuck yes. So yeah I’m back to green. I nodded into the kiss and reached my hand over to the hot wax, rubbing it into my palms to turn it into oil I started painting my inner thighs. Without breaking eye contact I pulled my panties down to where that they fit under my balls, my hole was still covered but I was out in my full glory, I needed to take this step and he had been so amazing today with the romance and the slowness. Pulling his underwear off I oiled up his cock and laid back down, gripping the pillow for dear life I nodded for him to start. 

Putting my thighs together he slid in between them so that his dick slid next to my own lubed parts. It was hard at first, scary. I was holding my breath a little to long type of scared. Will was so close to the place I couldn’t allow him yet. Then he reached down to touch me and that’s when I was able to breathe again. I’m glad we are doing this facing eachother, this is not like the locker room. This was romantic and beautiful, this was making love. Will only ever touched me with love and when that cemented into my head I started to harden up again. The feeling was exquisite once I allowed myself to enjoy it, sometimes I get in my own way. Will started to pick up pace, I felt the raw strength behind his thrusts as he pounded into me with the same pace as he stroked me. The noises he made were so fucking sex wrought that I started screaming in bliss as if he was actually penetrating me. I saw his abdomen tighten as his hips lost rhythm and he shot jets of arousal all over me. Along my chest and even on my neck, he got some good distance. I was always amazed how much he came, like he had been saving it up all week just for me. Once he milked himself down he climbed to the end of the bed and mouthed at the apex of my thighs. Throwing my legs over his shoulders he went down on me in most erotic way ever. Hands staying on my chest and hips as his tongue explored all over. Dipping in under my panties I felt him on my hole again with his tongue. Locking eyes as he did that I twitched and came grabbing my dick I aimed it at him covering his face and hair. The image knocked the wind out of me. 

Coming back up he didn’t pull us into our safe position, instead he put his head on my chest and listened to my heartbeat. I felt him breathing hard as he smeared his face in the sticky mess that was still on my chest. I copied his breathing as my afterglow overtook my body. Something warm was falling wet on my skin. 

“Will, will are you ok.”

“Yeah.” He sniffed 

“You don’t seem fine.”

Getting up from the bed he ran into the bathroom and walked out with a thing of baby wipes. Scootching me over he started to wipe the mess off my neck, chest and stomach. I took one out to cleaned his face. As we cleaned the other I saw was still tearing up.

“Will, you are not ok.”

“I pushed you to hard, I should have stopped. I’m so sorry. “

“Oh Will, no you didn’t. I didn’t call red did I?”

“No, but I knew I was pushing it. I’m sorry. I was just so... I was really into it and I just felt this connection and I pushed you to hard.”

Petting his hair I kissed at his neck, then up to his earlobe, then grazed my teeth along his jawline. Leaning into my touch, he circled my thigh with his hand. 

“You have no idea how good that feels.”

“I have an idea, Will I want you to push me ok? I’m not going to get better in 15 sessions if you don’t push me a little. I am not ready for your dick or your fingers to go there, but I never even thought about your mouth. It took me aback but it was good, I really liked it. More than liked it. It was a shock sure, but you stopped everytime I called yellow.”

“You have never safeworded that many times before.”

“I think that’s a good thing, it shows you that you can trust that I will use them and it shows me that I can trust that you will abide by them. I felt in control today. You made me feel... strong. Like I actually have control of my sex life. You also made the idea of anything touching there real. It’s ok. Don’t cry ok? Please?”

Rolling in the sheets with me we kissed for several minutes as we fell into eachother like we always do when we kiss. 

Not falling in love with Will was starting to tread on dangerous ground. 

I’m not sure how long I can keep my heart safe from this amazing man.


	7. Not a session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico fries to go out and have fun only to be triggered by some drunk asshole feeling him up, luckily a knight in shining armor is at the same bar.

I was as giddy as a school girl with the way my therapy was going. Reyna noticed the difference and me and decided it was time to celebrate a bit. Taking me down to a bar called Kate’s Closet. Standing at a high table watching the live music, we sipped on very strong very pink drinks.

“Gods what the fuck is this shit?” I grimaced as I took a sip, my liver jumped at the taste. 

“I think it’s called a pink poodle. Three of these and you will feel no pain.” She said clinking my glass. 

“I don’t think I’ll remember my own name with these. Do you come here often, the bartender was making eyes at you like she knew you.” I eyed the blonde shaking up a martini at the bar.

“That’s Annabeth, yeah we.... we know eachother.” Reyna turned her eyes down at the mention.

“So you slept with her is what your saying?”

“What do you want from me Nico! A girl has needs and that girl meets every need, not unlike your doctor lover man.” She shot back accusingly.

“Will is not my lover man, he’s a doctor helping me learn to be sexual.” I stirred the umbrella in my drink avoiding her eyes.

“You like him, I think you are falling for him. Tell me, is he falling for you?”

“No! No it’s not like that he... last time he said he felt a connection but that could just be the bond we formed. Who knows maybe we can be friends after the sessions.” She laughed and smacked the table at that. 

“You are so in love with this guy.”

“I’m not in love with him. He doesn’t even see me like that I’m just research. He sleeps with people, other people.” Long sip.

“So he is sleeping with people while he’s sleeping with you?”

“No, he said he stays monogamous during treatment. I won’t lie to you he is handsome and makes me feel safe. I can only hope to find someone who makes me feel the way he does one day, someone who loves me back.” A somber tone littered my voice at the thought. I feel like I am both lying and not lying to Reyna. 

“Whatever, wanna dance?”

“Yes.” I downed my drink and we walked over to the dance floor, I wasn’t usually into going out like this. Gay bars were not usually my scene, but I did feel better than usual. The lights and smoke machines were going off as I felt slightly dizzy from the drink. It felt good though. The red brick all around was shadowed by it all, I didn’t even notice it until I felt my face hit it. All the sudden my heart started to pound out of my chest as someone was feeling up my ass and trying to say something into my ear, I was panicking so badly and couldn’t even hear anymore, everything went silent and slow motion. Tears ran down my face as I felt my nails dig into the wall and break. Where was Reyna! Someone help me! Without warning I felt him slide his hand under my waist band toward my ass... and then it was gone. The body was no longer on me, turning around expecting Reyna I saw the guy being thrown against the brick next to me. 

A fist collided with his face, I was frozen as I saw the blood run down his mouth. Sliding to the floor I felt hands pull me out of the bar. I couldn’t tell you what was going on, scenery was racing by and I was struggling to breathe. I felt something warm running through my eyes, my feet left the floor as someone picked me up and I cried harder. Two sets of footsteps. Before I knew it I was on a bed and starting to get more into my panicked state, what was happening! Then a sharp piercing sensation jammed into my arm. I felt my heart slow down, my blood pressure settle and the tears were lessening into a hiccup. 

The area started to un-blur, two faces started coming into focus. Will and Reyna. It took a few minutes for me to come to completely. 

“Nico, Nico can you hear me?” His soft voice soothes over me like a balm. I started to feel kinda floaty. Reyna stayed with me as Will left for the bathroom coming back with his baby wipes. I felt the wet wipes cleaning my forehead.

“Shhhh it’s ok Nico, I have you. It’s going to be ok. Are you back with us?” He cooed at me trying to get me to respond. Reyna looked worried and tearstained. 

“Reyna don’t cry.”

“Oh thank gods your back! Nico what happened? I couldn’t see with all the smoke.”

“Guy pushes me against wall, touches me. I don’t like it, not Will.” Will chuckled at my half coherent words, I notice the wipes are covered in blood. Wills knuckles are brushed and swollen. Once I’m clean he starts cleaning what I can only assume is a cut, it stings when he touches it. Butterfly sutures were placed on my head as it began to clear. Putting stuff back into a a leather doctor bag he pulled out a prescription pad and scribbled quickly on it. Handing it to Reyna, he told her it was something for the pain. 

“You can take him home if you want, I’ll drive the both of you.”

“No, I don’t want to go anywhere. Please.” Slipped out of my drugged mouth. 

“Nico, we are just going home. Don’t you want to go home?” She said in a concerned laced voice that made my heart swell for my best friend. 

“No, I want to stay here. I want to stay with Will.”

Will laughed shaking his head, I started looking at him. Will was dressed different. I usually see him in loose clothes, tonight he was wearing sinful jeans and a very tight black tank top. 

“You know what Reyna, maybe he should stay. That way I can monitor him Incase he has another episode. That shot should wear off pretty quick. You can trust me with him I promise.” She eyes him but nodded.

“I am going to fill these for you and be back to pick you up in the morning Ok?”

Nodding at her I reached in for a hug. The warm embrace made the tears come back. I loved Reyna so much. She gave Will dagger eyes and told him to call her if anything happens, he took it well enough and reassured her. Getting up to walk Reyna out I got up and started look through Wills drawers, I don’t know why. I guess I was looking for something to wear to bed. Was I overstepping? Yes of course I was, but I was not thinking straight. Might as well take advantage of the excuse while I could. I found the sleep drawer and pulled out some long sleep shirt that was pretty much a dress on me. Clumsily trying to take my shirt off I fell over onto the bed tangled in my own clothing. 

“Whoa, hey there! Let me help you with that ya goof.” Warm familiar hands helped me untangle my shirt from my shoulders. The shirt came off and he noticed the shirt I pulled out. Giggling he made me raise my arms like a child and placed it over me. I tried to undo my pants myself, but I couldn’t. 

“Let me help you. It’s me Nico you can trust me ok?”

“I know who you are. You are the only one that can take my pants off. Other than Reyna, she can too. Wow my voice sounds weird.”

“That’s the drugs, don’t worry they should wear off in a few minutes. You are already speaking better. I’m going to unzip and pull ok?”

“Ok.”

Taking off my pants my underwear almost went with them, I caught them in time. He took my clothes and put them in his hamper. Kissing my cheek we went to find his own pajamas for the night. Stripping off his clothes I saw him wearing really tight briefs. Damn his ass looked good. Keeping himself shirtless he just threw on some flannel pants. 

“Do you want to sleep in here or out in the living room?”

“I’m sleeping where you are sleeping.” A weird look crossed his face like he was battling with himself. Nodding he pointed to the bed I was sitting on. Climbing in he laid down and motioned us into our safe space. I climbed on top of him and pressed my ear to hear his heartbeat. 

“I’m going to rub your back.” I nodded into his chest while taking in his scent.

“Did Reyna call you?”

“No, I was at that bar. I was trying to keep my distance. I saw you guys arrive and wanted to observe you in public, but you my dear are a magnet for trouble it seems. The guy pushed you into the smoke and I ran over. When I saw him pawing at you I kind of lost it and I grabbed him and punched him. Not my proudest moment.” I felt the cloud lift from my head at his words. The meds wore off finally. Damn he’s the one who punched that asshole. 

“My hero.”

“I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t let him hurt you. I can’t let anyone hurt you.” I felt a kiss on the top of my head. That’s when I started to drift off to sleep. 

(Time break)

I woke up with my head aching. I reached up to feel my face, my eyebrow was cut with bandages on it. Fuck, what the... what’s touching my ass! Looking over my shoulder I saw Will’s face not two inches away with his arms wrapped around my waist and his dick digging into my ass. That’s when everything from last night came rushing back. Fuck me! Will beat up a guy who was trying to feel me up. I freaked out so bad he had to tranque me! I was so embarrassed, but more than embarrassed I realized I had a dick pressed into my ass and I wasn’t triggered. I experimentally pushed into it and felt him roll his hips. Oh damn that felt good. Lips started kissing my neck and moaning a bit. 

“Are you awake?”

“Yeah.”

“Is this triggering?”

“No, no it’s not.”

“Good.”

Turning around I kissed him. Maybe it was the sleepiness that still littered our bodies. Maybe it was the emotions from last night but within minutes we were naked in his sheets. Grabbing a bottle of lube he handed it to me.

“Finger me.”

Latching on to his nipple with my teeth, I shoved my fingers in slowly to stretch him. Curling my fingers I felt his hips jump and buck. Will was so receptive. 

“Get me a condom.” I whispered into his mouth. 

“I don’t have any, I was going to buy some at our next session.”

“Is this ok?”

“Yeah, I’m clean. Tested every three months and never have sex unprotected. 

“Except right now?”

“Well you seem to be my exception for a lot of things, you gonna argue or are you going to fuck me?”

“Oh I think I’ll take option two.”

“Yesssss.” He hissed. Slicking myself up I started to push in. Will felt amazing, this was so different without a barrier. I made sure to get some lube on his dick so it could slide between our stomachs easily. It wasn’t long, more like a quickey. A few minutes later we were shouting our climaxes into the air. It was wonderful, normal, domestic even. A feeling I’ve been chasing for a long time. Rolling off him I started to laugh uncontrollably.

“Damn, I didn’t think I was that bad.” He smiled.

“It wasn’t bad it was... it was great. I just.. I had a panic attack just last night and then I’m waking up to morning Sex with you. I just. I never thought... I didn’t think this would ever happen for me.” Then the emotion hit me and tears overtook the laughter. Not sobs, just silent emotional tears. Turning to me he wipes my eyes gingerly. 

“I keep breaking the rules with you don’t I?”

“Please don’t stop. It’s working. Your rule breaking has gotten me to this, morning sex after an episode. That’s huge, that’s... that’s a miracle. “

“Well you are worth it. Reyna should be here soon with your pain meds.” He laced his fingers with mine. 

Knock knock knock.

“That’s probably her. Your clothes are over there and if you want you can borrow something of mine and bring them back on Saturday for session seven.” Kissing my lips one more time he sprang out of bed. Gloriously naked he found the PJ pants and walked out of the room for me to get ready. 

Getting dressed in some of his clothes I gathered my ones from last night and saw blood on my shirt. Walking out I heard a male voice, not Reyna’s. 

“What is he doing here Will! This isn’t protocol! I don’t care if he had a freak out, you don’t let patients stay over!”

“Cecil, it was one time ok. I forgot you were coming over. I..” looking at me standing by the door Will cut himself off. 

“Hi, I’m Nico.”

“Hi, Cecil. Wills cousin. Nice to meet the famous Nico.” He reaches out to shake my hand. The door was still open and Reyna came in behind them. 

“Hey sweetie, you ready to go?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you Saturday Will.” I went in for a hug and got a small chaste kiss infront of both of them. Blushing I kept my head down as I headed towards Reyna. We left the apartment with her teasing me the whole way down the stairs

———————

Wills POV 

“So that’s Nico? Will are you fucking stupid?” He sat the six pack of beer down on the counter as he stared at me with a hand on his hip.

“Yeah, I’m helping him. That’s what I do Cecil. That guy’s father gave me a 100,000 dollar grant! Promising more if the treatment works!”

“Ok, I would get that if he wasn’t short, brunette, pretty almost feminine, emo vibe, in need of a knight on a white horse? That’s not your type at all. Let me count them shall we? Katie, Lou Ellen, Percy, Jason? All of those ring a bell? You always have to be the savior!”

“Yeah he is attractive and yes he’s my type but it’s professional.” I turned to make myself some coffee.

“Then why is there a cum stain on the back of your pants?”

Fuck. I didn’t think about that. How could I tell him? How could I tell him I fell for a patient. I’ve had hundreds of patients, not all of them sexual. Yet Nico was different. My exception, the person I wanted to break rules with because I couldn’t stop thinking about him. It takes everything I have not to tell him I’m in love with him. Even going as far as to extend sessions just to keep him a little longer. I wasn’t counting this as a session. This was off the books. I couldn’t help it, he was sweet and wonderful and everything I could have ever wanted in a person. How was I going to let him go?


	8. Wills Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wills POV and how how feels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I have other stories to update but this one has really been sitting with me all week and everyone wants to know how will feels about all this.

For the record, this was not in my plan at all!

I did not know that a busty Hispanic woman was going to lead me to a person that would change me. By the way, she is fucking terrifying! I took this case because I thought she was going to eat my soul if I didn’t take the interview. Don’t get me wrong, the promise of a large donation from the persons father was also a big draw. I had been working on this study for five years, so the grant money was starting to run out, but this woman had a stare that could kill plants. Luckily, I needed one last patient and I had yet to come across someone who hadn’t even tried to have sex since their assault. My usual patients were couples working through an assault, people who have had sex after an assault and couldn’t enjoy it and end up being triggered, and people with disabilities who haven’t found a way to have sex in a way that makes them feel at ease. I had yet to run into a virgin who hasn’t attempted sex since their violation, so that alone would be an interesting study. 

Most of my friends think all I do this to have sex with a bunch of people, and from far away that’s exactly what it looks like. Not the case. I want to help people, I want everyone to feel wanted and needed consensually. To help people move past their attack so that they have a real chance at a loving lasting relationship. I myself was a survivor of assault, it took years to move past it. I was lucky to have a partner at the time that helped me work through and had a lot of patience, they were also cheating on me. I’m not bitter…maybe a little. I didn’t realize their patience was them getting laid on the side and coming home to me later. Anyway, back to my patients, most of the time I never had sex with them. They usually just needed someone to help them with being triggered with a partner, so I watched a lot of people have sex. Out of 200 cases I only had sex with maybe 20, sometimes not even full sex. People are really not that into having sex with strangers, most would bring in a friend to help with the session. 

Then I meet Nico. 

I have never had a case where I wanted to have sex with them at first sight. Only one was I slightly attracted to and that was only after session seven when I had gotten to know them a bit. Then this small beautiful creature walked into my office. Dark features and pale skin was a weakness of mine, I blame My Chemical Romance. I was hoping he was boring, and stupid, or crazy. Just my luck he’s smart, funny, a natural in the sack. There was also this allure that I was the only one he had been with consensually, made me feel important in a way I couldn’t achieve on my own. Nico was so starved for intimacy, he (sometimes she) wanted to be touched. With him it was like giving someone water that had been lost in the desert for days. I could feel the sexual tension between us from the first moment we met eyes.

I tried everything to forget him, distraction, talking to my own therapist, trying to talk myself out of it by pointing out flaws in my head. Nothing worked. All the flaws were fixable, the distractions just made me think of him more, and my therapist asked me if it would be so bad falling for someone. That because it was a study and no money was directly involved that I could just keep his case out of my study and pursue him. The dreams were the worst, the thought of him panting and calling my name with every thrust undoes my composure. Then when I saw that asshole put his hands on what was mine.. damnit he’s not mine but still you know what I mean! Now I have bruised knuckles and had to treat him back at my apartment. When he told Reyna he wanted to stay with me, my heart swelled with emotion. I woke up with someone for the first time in five years and I was happy, I had morning sex for Fuck sake! Now I was confronted with my best friend/cousin calling me out as the man of my dreams walked out wearing my clothes with his cum still dripping out of my ass. Yeah, I’m fucking screwed. You caught up? Good. Back to Cecil being a dick.

“So, tell me Solace, tell me how you are keeping this professional when you are having unprotected morning sex with your last case?” opening a beer he began to sip as he leaned over my island.

“It’s a little early for beer isn’t it?”

“Its five-o clock somewhere dude, stop changing the subject.”

“Its not that simple.” Shaking my head, I pointed us over to the blue living chairs, me with coffee, him with the rest of his six pack.

“Will, I have watched you do this study for the last five years. I edit your notes, I am putting the study on paper for you to present. You have never written about a patient like you write about this dude. Honestly, I was surprised the notes didn’t have hearts dotting the I’s and smiley faces in the corners. You are in love with this guy.”

I was not in love with Nico, I was head over heels reach for the stars over the moon in love with Nico. Cecil and I grew up like brothers, only six months apart. If anyone knew me he did.

“I love him, is that what you want to hear? That I can’t stop thinking about him and all he sees me as is the doctor that’s nursing him back to health, so he can fuck someone else. That I am the stepping stone to him finding someone that is not me. I get to count down the sessions until I never see his face again.” I said maybe a tad to aggressively…maybe just aggressive enough…no it was to aggressive. Cecil never took it personally, I can get dramatic. 

“Dude was wearing your clothes, He spent the night with you. You don’t think he might be a little into you. I read his history Will, it would not be far fetched for someone to be into the person they lost their virginity too. You are the first person he has trusted enough to do things with, that takes a lot from a person. I think he is just as into you, sure he might be in denial. That will pass. I bet at the very last session he begs to marry you.” Opening the second can he shook his head and smirked. 

I could only hope Cecil was right, but with my luck that wasn’t going to be the case. I still hadn’t told him anything about me, nothing real. Like how our attacks were super similar, only mine was in the bathroom instead of a locker room. Nico didn’t know anything about me personally, just surface stuff and bits and pieces about my parents and how I grew up. Nothing that you wouldn’t tell someone on a first date. When it came down to Brass Tax I didn’t know that much about him either. We always focused on the issue at hand. Only ever straying from it occasionally in the last few sessions. I knew this, he likes to use dark humor to distract you from what’s wrong. That he hates coffee but loves the smell of it. That his father is the most important person in his life even though they have communication issues, and from talking to his dad on the phone he would do anything for his son to live happy life. If that’s all I knew about him, it would be enough. Someone who was raised by someone who would shell out money without question and ask every question possible to make sure the treatment was working no matter how embarrassing the answer might be had to have a good heart. 

Watching him sleep is what pushed it over the edge, the peace on his face. The internal trust of knowing that it was my arms around him. The way he leaned into me to protect him. I wanted to protect him forever. Nico always looked so fragile, like glass. Yet, with every session he grew stronger and surer of himself. In fact, he might be the only patient I’ve felt like I’ve truly helped. To get this far in less than eight sessions was astounding, he really was something special. 

“Well Cecil, I don’t think that’s going to happen. Plus, his dad gives me money.”

“That doesn’t matter, its grant money. Donated. The dude isn’t paying you to fuck his son. You do real work Will, I’ve seen the help you give. Your research on this subject is getting its very own journal, at the very least a book deal.” Seeing that my coffee was done he handed me a Beer. 

“A book deal wouldn’t that be something.” With a psst the can opened, and I lifted the bitter liquid to my mouth, yeah it was way too early for beer.

“Will, maybe you should break off the sessions and just ask the dude out. You have already broken so many rules its hard to even consider putting him in the study.”

“Not until we reach his goal, he has a goal. I need to know he can meet it. That way if….if he isn’t interested then he can move on. I need to know he has a chance to find someone one day even if it’s not me.”

“Fair enough, but you need to remember that he isn’t the only one who deserves the happy ending Will. I have seen you go through too much not to want that for you. I know you have said that you don’t date when you have patients, I know you only see one case at a time. Its been five fucking years and you are not getting any younger. You have earned the right to grow old with someone. This Nico, I saw the way he looks at you and if you think for a second h isn’t in love with you then you don’t deserve him. This guy makes you happy, you have been your best self the last six weeks. If this guy is the reason, then you need to seize the fuck out of it. Don’t let go like I did.”

“Cecil, you did let go. Rachel died, and for the hundredth time it wasn’t your fault. She was sick for a long time, her whole life. Nothing could have been done. You might want to take your own advice and get back out there.”

“I have, her name is Hazel. We met at a support group. She lost her boyfriend Frank. We have been dating a month. That’s what I came over to talk to you about actually.” Sip.

“Dude that awesome, where she from?”

“New York.”

“Levesque?”

“How did you...”

“You are dating Nico’s sister, fuck me this is just what I need.”

“Seriously how did you know it was her?”

“How many girls are named Hazel now a days? Nico is from New York. It was a shot in the dark”

“You have got to be kidding! Dude she has told me all about her brother, she calls him Neeks. Dude you are getting into some deep shit. They lost both their mothers and an older sister. This dude has more levels than you know. You are stepping in a Tragic Novella of epic proportions with this guy.” The strain in his voice made my chest tight.

“And you’re not? You are dating the sister!” I yelled.

“Dude she has like a carry on and a tote bag, her brother has like 5 full suitcases, 4 duffels, and a makeup bag.”

“Well it’s a good thing I work out, I can carry a lot of luggage.”

I finished my beer.


	9. session eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nico and Will fly to Vegas! Breakthroughs are made and confessions as well.

Will called me later that day to make sure I was ok. It had been a week since the incident, and he was giving me time to heal. The next session was this weekend and I was told to pack a bag for two days for a surprise. The only thing I could imagine is that he wants to work on me staying overnight with someone for the weekend without being triggered. It was a big step, but I told Will I wanted him to push me. Reyna thought it was a great idea, telling me that a weekend away after such a bad panic attack was necessary. I made sure to pack both girl and boy clothes in case I changed gender overnight, I might still wear the panties just because I think Will likes them. Was that too much? Changing my wardrobe for a guy I’m going to be naked in front of. It’s my first weekend with a lover and it’s actually a doctor’s appointment. 

Getting to his apartment I found that he had also packed bags, were we going somewhere? Meeting me at the door of his building he had smile on his face, damn that smile. 

“Will what’s going on? I thought we were staying here this weekend?” bringing the bags down the steps I saw a cab pull up.

“We are going on a weekend break out of town, courtesy of a rather large Donor to my cause. I informed him that a Weekend away might be a good next step and he insisted he pay for it.” He said with a wink.

“Are you telling me my dad is paying for a vacation?”

“Would that keep you from going, because I will lie to you.”

“No, not at all.”

“Then yes, your dad is sending us out of town to do some work in an unfamiliar environment. We need to see if you are triggered in other areas, since the thing at the bar happened we need to put you in outside stimulus.” A cab pulled up and he started putting our bags in the trunk. Butterflies floated all around my stomach, wow a real vacation with the hottest man I have ever met. A man I trusted to touch me, that made me feel like he wanted to touch me. 

After the cab ride and a relentless interrogation of where we were going we arrived at a private airport. I should have known my dad would send his plane. We weren’t going to a bed and breakfast out of town, we were going out of state.

“The other two should already be on the plane.”

“Who is coming with us?”

“My cousin and his girlfriend, I want to make sure you can do a double date with people. Its important. A family vacation type weekend. Things like these are important, interacting with people as if you were in a long-term relationship. These are thing you need to learn.” Getting out of the cab he handed the bags to the Baggage loader. Taking my hand, he leads me to the plane. Sitting down in the Isle seat across from two other seats, I took in the familiar feel of my dad’s plane. I grew up on this thing, it was a comfort. Cecil, the cousin from last week smiled at me. Apparently, his girlfriend was in the bathroom. Will was making sure I was comfortable when the bathroom door opened. 

“Neeks!” Hazel screamed and ran into my arms. My sister! My wonderful beautiful sister that I haven’t seen since Christmas was here!

“What are you doing here!”

“I am dating Cecil here. Dad sent me with the plane! Cecil told me everything, I have read the notes about your doc here. Seems like he is helping you?”

“Yeah, yeah he is.” I looked at Will with tears in my eyes.

“Well looks like we are on a real family vacation huh?”

“Yeah, I guess we are. Where are we going?” at that she sat down across from me. 

“Oh, big brother we are going to Vegas. Dad has it all set up for us.” She smirked with a glint in her eyes. 

Will grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers as the Plane took off. 

(time break)

We landed in Vegas a few hours later. A limo picked us up and drive us to the Palazzo Hotel to check into our rooms before dinner. Will and Cecil gave Hazel and I some time to catch up. We took what we needed for the night and delivered the bags to the rooms we were staying in. Hazel and I washed up in one room while the guys got ready in the other, after dinner this would be Will and I’s room. After that it was a bit of a whirlwind. We had dinner at Tao, went dancing in Old Vegas, it was the first night out that I didn’t feel like I could be attacked. I was having fun! Drinking champagne and large slushy drinks that had more alcohol than my body weight. It was wonderful. 

Arriving back at our suite with just a slight stumble we found our way into the room. It was one hell of a room, a sunk in living area with a view of the strip, a king size bed with the most comfortable fabrics known to man, 15$ gummy bears that I was going to devour soon. Will began to strip as he made his way over to the bed. Damn he looked yummy. I pealed myself out of my sweat soaked shirt and pants and tackled him onto the bed. Two months and I was jumping into bed with someone, Doctor Solace was a miracle worker, so it seems. We were both a little drunk, but I feel my consent is as valid as his. I am not seeing double or getting the spins, I can consent damn it. That and he asked me a hundred times on the ride back. Kissing him we fell to our sides tangled in each other. Even tipsy Will was still calling out sudden movements and where his hand was going on my body, funny thing was…I didn’t need it, not with him. Ok maybe I am drunker than I thought. Naked in seconds I could feel the burning trail of his lips down my body. The warmth of his mouth enveloped me as I threw my legs over his shoulders and pulling at his hair. 

“Damn you feel so good Will, i…i…I want…” popping off me he kissed my inner thigh.

“Tell me what you want Nico. I’ll do anything you want.”

“Fuck me, please fuck me.” That’s when he froze, only for a second. Nodding he grabbed the lube and poured it over his fingers. Coming back up to face level with me he slid a lubed finger along my lower lip.

“Taste that.” I licked my lips and the flavor of blueberry tingled my tongue. Heading back down I felt him gingerly circle my rim, my heart rate sped up. Panting under him I felt his tongue breach my hole. An electric shock jolted my body as I let him freely explore me. It was the first time I let him loose down there. I was clutching the sheets making the most ridiculous sounds that I never even knew I could make. Fuck this was good, sex was good. Then I felt the fingertip breach me, my eyes flew open at the sensation. I could feel my resolve about to crumble when this warm sensation filled my chest. In a streak of bravery, I pushed down and felt his finger slide inside me I relaxed around him I began to thrust myself on and off his finger. Eyes blown wide at my motion he watched in awe as I felt the sensation of something inside me for the first time, something I wanted. 

“That’s right baby take it slow ok?”

“I want another, stretch me more.”

“Nico, we don’t have to…”

“Damnit Will I want to fuck, now put another finger in me now!”

Without hesitation he slid a second finger in. I took lead in the movement. It felt good, strange but good. Not at all like I remember. Taking a hand and slowing my hips he crawled up and popped my dick in his mouth again….that’s when he crooked his fingers. Fuck! Black spots danced in front of my eyes and the room flashed into negatives. Pressing that spot inside me in a relentless rhythm I felt his hand move and hook. It was too much, too much in the best way possible. I came without warning, like hitting a brick wall. Screaming his name like a prayer I milked myself inside his mouth as he kept me deep in the back of his throat. Before I could collect myself, he asked me to turn over. I obeyed without thinking and got onto my knees, I told him to fuck me, and I was going to let him. I heard him lube himself as my afterglow hit me. I expected to feel his cock but instead I felt him between my thighs. Lips kissed my neck as he thrust between my legs. Grabbing my hair, I felt him lightly bite my shoulder as he came. 

Turning my head to kiss me we fell to the side and passed out. 

(Time break)

Waking up slowly, and naked, I found that I didn’t have a hangover. I felt really good actually. Will was nuzzled deep in the crook of my neck while I was on my back, he was on my chest. Feeling him stir, I danced my fingertips along his shoulders urging him awake. Looking up at me he smiled.

“Morning.”

“Same.”

“Want to order in some breakfast?”

“Yes.”

After a light makeout and some coffee, we dug into a full breakfast feeding it to eachother. This must be what heaven feels like. 

“Want to talk about last night?”

“Yes, I do. Am I in trouble?”

“Why on earth would you be in trouble?”

“You know why.” He sipped at his coffee and put it down. Tapping his chest, we got into safety position. I laid there listening to his heart and the reverb in his chest as he spoke holding me around the waist.

“You weren’t ready, not yet. So, I kinda did the blowjob thing on purpose to make you cum quicker. You let me have free reign over your body and I cannot tell you how much that means to me, that you trust me like that. Watching you fuck yourself on my fingers…Huge step in your recovery. You let someone breach you.”

“I let you breach me, I trust you.”

“I know and that’s overwhelming in itself. Then you let me take you from behind, I know I didn’t penetrate but you let me come at you from that position. I didn’t see that coming. You did all that with no trigger. You are a marvel. I am not sure how you will react without alcohol, but last night was special.”

“I thought so too. Seriously Will, you are a miracle worker. I never thought I would be able to ever experience those things, but you made it happen. You are going to get me to my goal, hell I would have let you last night.”

“I know, but I knew deep down you might not actually be ready. I also don’t want our first time with me on top to be drunk. “

“I wasn’t that drunk.”

“Still, I want it to be clear headed.”

“Yeah, you are right. Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot”

“Why are we not hung over?”

“Casinos pump oxygen into the building, keeps you from getting tired and from hangovers. Keeps you from being to sick the next day for gambling. “

“Cool.”

“yeah, it is.”

“So, why did you think I wasn’t ready?”

“That’s a big step and we need a bit more time. Maybe work on the finger stuff a bit more. Sober.”

“Ok, I’m sorry I tried to rush.” 

“I understand. More than you know.”

“Will, have you ever been…violated?” I felt him suck in breath and pause for a few moments. Then…

“What gave me away?”

“Because you always seem to know how I feel, and its not just the experience and the Doctorates. I could tell by session two.” At that he moved his hand down my spine in a loving caress.

“I wasn’t much older than you were, 18. I didn’t actually get my growth spurt until I was 21. So I was small for a while.”

“How tall?”

“Of course you would ask that (Laugh) I was 5’6” then shot up to 6ft in college. Anyway, I was cornered by three guys in a bathroom. Nazi types. Kids that were all raised together with hate filled parents. They all had shaved heads and hated anyone who wasn’t white or straight. I was openly Pan, I never hid it. They thought they were teaching me a lesson, I guess they figured I would never want to sleep with a guy again after it. I was the opposite actually. I sought out sex, tried to cover my pain with promiscuity. Thought I could make it ok in my mind if I just had sex with anyone who would have me. Fuck the pain away. It only made it worse. My dad tried to get me help but it didn’t work. Then I started having panic attacks during sex, it got worse and worse. Then I found a relationship that helped. They were patient and we built up to sex slowly. Never holding it against me when I couldn’t do it. I found out later they cheated on me but that’s besides the point. I knew from there it was about patience. It was about waiting while still building. I went to med school and threw myself into school hardcore for the next decade. I knew I had to help other survivors. I knew I had to find a way to get people like us through it. To come out the other side.”

“Will, I love you. I am not sure if I am in love with you, but I love you as a person.”

“Are you falling in love with me?”

“I don’t know. I know I trust you. Would it be bad if I did?”

“While in the study yes.”

“Then it’s a good thing I don’t know, but I love you as a human. I know that much.”

“I love you as a human too Nico.”

“Could someone like you fall in love with someone like me?”

“You are easy to love Nico, Falling in love with you would be very very easy.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I know, I reserve my right to answer after the study is over.”

“Same.”

I guess we will see where the chips lie later, for now we love each other as humans.


	10. The Dam breaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The real confession... the dam breaks

After a long day filled with gambling and shows, we meandered our way back home. Pulling up to Wills house I looked at my watch to see that t was way to late to go home. Reyna was a light sleeper and if I woke her up before a certain time she would kill me. I had bags, it would be loud. Reading my mind Will took my hand and brought it up to his lips. 

“You should stay tonight. It would be nice to spend a night with you sober.”

Nodding and smiling, he grabbed our bags and we made our way up the stairs. Fuck stairs at 2am! Will sat our stuff in his room as he unpacked his bag for his night stuff. I was not about to try to find my stuff, I just threw everything inside with no rhyme or reason. I decided to say screw it and I got naked and laid on his bed. 

“To tired for PJs?”

“Actually I sleep naked. I’m to tired to impress you with clothing.” I said rolling over in a very awkward modeling pose. 

“Well its a good look on you, well I won’t lie I love the lingerie too. I’m sure that’s not very comfortable to sleep in.”

“No, the wires from corsets and such dig into your ribs.” I moaned into my elbow. 

“Well, would you be ok if I met the dress code?”

“Yeah, it’s you.”

I saw him smile and blush. Taking off his clothes he climbed in with me. Getting under the covers we cuddled close. 

“This is against the rules too huh?”

“Seems like every thing I do with you is against the rules. It’s your fault, I can’t seem to say no to you.”

“Why is that?”

“Still working that out. Sleep well hun, I’ll make us breakfast in the morning.”

“Sounds perfect.”

(Time break)

Waking up I found myself alone. The bed was way to empty without him there, yet I could smell him all around. So much better than Vegas. Wills bed was big and comfortable in a different way. Lived in, homey. I could smell food cooking and a screeching noise that I could only assume was Will trying to sing... thank gods he’s not perfect. I was beginning to wonder. I crawled out forgetting for a moment I was naked. I was naked in bed with Will and we didn’t do anything. That warm feeling in my chest started again. Heading for the bathroom I decided to clean up before joining him. Walking into the room I realized that he had already showered, the walls were wet and the mirror fogged. I liked cleaning myself with his things, painting his smell on me. I also indulged in his toothbrush. Coming out with a towel around my waist, he had laid out a small buffet on the bed. 

Will had made Swedish pancakes with bacon. Fruit was in a bowl next to a glass of chocolate milk. 

“Want to start a session?”

“Now?”

“Yeah, cliche intimacy. It would be good for you. Let me feed you breakfast while you lie naked in my bed. I liked doing it so much in Vegas, I can’t stop myself from trying it again.”

“Oh Dr. Solace you are goin to give me the vapors “ I mocked with a terrible southern bell accent waving my hand in front of my face. 

“Yeah I’m going to ignore that jab at my accent.” He said taking a bite of bacon. The morning was this, eating food and laughing as he fed it to me bite by bite. It was a very cherishing feeling. 

“All the foods gone, what’s next on the list?”

Well I think we need to talk more about what happened in Vegas. We never really talked it out. Not really.” He started putting plates and things away as I covered myself with his comforter, sidling up next to we got into our safety position. Straddling his well toned waist I settled into his heartbeat, getting myself ready for the conversation. 

“So things got a little crazy in Vegas. Admissions and new experiences. Let me ask you, if I wanted to put my fingers inside you right now, how would you feel?” Warm hands massages down my spine.

“I don’t know, not nearly as up for it as I was a few days ago, I guess you were right. I guess I’m not quite ready.”

“Well, how about we do another exercise that could be both helpful and super sexy?” Will moved his hands again, only now he wasn’t warning me. Funny enough I didn’t need him to. 

“Like what?”

“What if... I sat back and told you to do things. Things to yourself without me touching you. Kind of like a power control without physical touch.”

“I would be willing to try it, doesn’t seem that scary since you won’t be touching me.”

“I think you can do it.”

“Then I want to try.”

Getting up he directed me to sit propped against his headboard. Putting a pillow under my hips I was half laying down half sitting up. Will sat in front of me on his knees. Bending to the side he retrieved a box from under the bed and kept it next to him. 

“Now, I want you to touch yourself.”

“How?”

“Trail your fingers over your entire body, stop and play with your nipples and then end with your cock. I want a show, would you like some music?”

“No I think that will make me more nervous.” This was nerve wracking. I wasn’t being touched yet I was on display. It was exciting though. Starting with my head I ran my fingers through my hair, then down my neck, I started to feel sexy. The look on his face when I touched myself was intoxicating. Eyes blown out wide with lust, a slight tremble in his composure. I liked that, that I could undo him as easily as he undoes me. Fingers encircled my nipples one by one in a dance of touch and pull. Making sure to bite my lip as I did, I saw his cock twitch. Working down my navel I jutted my hips a bit. My cock swollen and heavy as it lay thick on my stomach, my hands almost to it. 

Moving from his stationary position he lifted the box lid and got out a bottle of lube. Leaning over he dribbled it messily on me. My hands worked to spread the substance all over. Freshly shaved I circulated it all over including my balls. I went slow, putting on the best show I could. Wills heavy breathing made this all worth it. One hand massaging my balls and the other working my foreskin obscenely. Pre-cum dewed at the tip. I swirled it with my thumb, sitting up I reached for Will and placed it in his mouth. Spreading myself on the blanket of his tongue to taste me, he loved tasting me. Moaning at the gesture he grabbed the bottle again and took my hand, squirting a little more on my fingers he motioned me back down. 

“I want to see you finger yourself. Spread your legs and I want to see you get three fingers deep.” He panted.

Never taking my eyes off him I reached under and swirled the lube around the furled opening. My breath hitched as anxiety started to swirl around as well. 

“Breathe Nico, just breathe. I want to see it, I want the image of you fingering yourself. “ as he said it he grabbed his own erection and started to stroke.

“Do-d-do you w-want to film it? So you c-can jerk off to m-me?” My voice shook, mostly from arousal. If this turns him on, I wanted him to have that image forever. I wanted to know he was jerking off to me. 

“Only if your ok with that, I would love to have a video of you fucking yourself.” With the other hand I reached for his phone and tossed it to him. A spurt of pre-cum shot out and ran down his shaft, I licked my lips remembering how he tastes. Once he had the camera recording I pushed in the first finger. Will moaned, I pushed in further. I heard the wet sound of his arousal thwapping in the air. I shoved another finger in. 

“Fuck ...” he breathed. Taking his hand off his cock he motioned for me to curl my fingers. Gods that’s amazing! I started fucking my fingers faster, desperately trying to hit that spot. Three fingers now, it wasn’t painful, just pressure. The sight of him so turned on was starting to become my kink. I wanted to please him. Then he reached for the box. I halted for him, a large flesh colored dildo was in his hand. Holding it next to his own cock I realized something.

“Is that? Is that a copy of your dick?” I giggled. It was kind of funny. That Will would have a copy of his own dick, does he fuck himself on it?

“Yeah, I made it last week. It’s a kit you can buy at a sex shop. You make a cast of your dick and then make a dildo for your lover. Well, I thought I would ask you to fuck yourself with it.”

“Can I keep it?”

“Yes.” He laughed.

“Lube it up, give it here.”

After lubing it he handed it to me, then got the camera back on me. Will was going to film me fucking myself on his dick.. his fake dick. Examining it I realized it was perfect, a perfect copy. Pulling my fingers out I pushed it inside me and gasped. I had Wills dick inside me, sort of. Like an out of body experience. I pushed in until it was bottomed out. The stretch... was this full feeling. A complete feeling. I started to thrust it shallowly, then sped it up. Wills dick was leaking generously watching me. I was a moaning mess, I felt myself build quickly as one hand fucked me and the other stroked. Will was so riled up. Burning with lust I took the toy out and put it to the side. 

“Will, I want to feel you.”

“You were feeling me, you were fucking yourself with my dick remember?”

“I want your real dick, I want to try.”

Kneeing his way over to me he threw the phone away. I reached down and rubbed the pre-cum all over his head and guided it to my hole. I felt the head push in slowly when all the sudden...”oh fuck!”

Will started to pulse and gripped my knees hard. Just the tip was inside me as he came. I could feel him spurting inside me, I began to stroke myself lightning fast at the feeling. Cumming with a cry, I watched white ropes of arousal painted Wills torso. I don’t think I had ever came so much in my life. Gobs of it just rolling down. Pulling out he rolled next to me and put a pillow over his face. 

I assessed my own body first, am I triggered? No. Was that experience good? Yes. Was it weird? Yes. Was Will ok? I’m not sure. 

“Will, are you ok?”

“No!” Muffled pillow voice.

“What can I do? Are you triggered?”

“No I’m embarrassed.” Ok I’m done with this pillow shit. Grabbing it off his face I was little pricks of tears in his eyes. 

“Will it’s ok!” I immediately went to his aid. Taking his face it my hands and petting his hair. Kissing his cheeks and face. 

“No it’s not, I just ruined it. I was almost there! I just came like a fucking teenager! It was all just so hot, then when you ask me to.. it was overwhelming, and my heart sped up and my vision went blurry and I pushed in and BOOM! I just.. I just ruined it all!” Real tears started to form. I got up to get in top of him, the feeling of cum dripping out of my ass startled me. I clenched while I moved. Climbing on top of him I held him close. 

“Will you didn’t ruin anything! We just... we were both built up so much that’s all. I’m not triggered. I was breached and wasn’t triggered! It’s working, everything you are doing is working!” Kissing his eyes and forehead I rocked him slightly. 

“I’m doing this all wrong, I’m breaking the rules and this is nothing like the other patients. I don’t know what I’m doing when I’m with you! I just lose all protocol! I.. I... I don’t know if I’m helping you.”

“Baby you are! You are helping me! I have never once used a toy! You got me to use it and enjoy it. You want a confession? I don’t know if I could have done that with any old toy, it’s because it was you. It was a copy of you! “

“THATS THE PROBLEM! Nico, we went to far. I let this get so out of hand! Baby, I let this get so far out of hand. It shouldn’t be because it’s me, you should be learning to do this so you can be with someone else!” He cried harder. Real pain ran through his face. 

“Will, I .. I don’t really want to be with any..”

“Don’t say it, if you say it then we have to stop.”

“No we don’t! Don’t say that!” I reared up and slapped him hard across the face. I froze in shock at what I had done. Fuck, I just hit him. Tears fell down my face. Also frozen at my action he broke when he saw my tears. Reaching for his face he rubbed the abused side. 

“Nico, Nico it’s ok, calm down.” I got off him and rolled to the other side of the bed. I had hurt him. How could I have done that! What is wrong with me! I started to shake. Then I couldn’t breath. Blackness began to come in at the edges of my vision. 

“Nico! Baby calm down, I need you to calm down or I’m going to have to give you a shot! Nico!” The words hit me, no not a shot. If I have a shot we won’t be able to work this out. If we can’t work it out he will cut off the sessions. He can’t, I can’t, the sessions can’t stop! I heard him counting and I started counting with him. I could feel myself come down. The sadness was still there, but the panic was receding. Tears still rained down, but I came back to myself. I moved in and kissed him. Automatically kissing me back, we kissed until we both had calmed down. Wills lips were better than Xanax. 

“Will, what’s going on!” I begged into his mouth. 

“I crossed the line, I crossed it to many times. I got involved emotionally. Because of that I think I may have failed you. I was supposed to get you to a place where you could be sexual with other people. Now I’m almost certain I’ve made it so that you can only be sexual with me.”

Damn, he wasn’t wrong. I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else.

“Is that so bad? Maybe I’m crazy but I don’t think this is a one way street. I see the way you look at me, tell me you don’t feel anything for me.” My voice broke at the end as I begged him.

“I can’t, I can’t say that. I feel so much for you Nico, more than you could possibly know. “

“Tell me you love me, please. Please cause I really need to hear it. I need to hear that you love me as much as I love you.” I was gripping his hair so hard now that it had to be painful, couldn’t be more painful than all this.

“Nico, if I tell you that then... then I have to let you go as a patient. We can’t do this anymore.”

“Why not! Why can’t we do this, I want you! I never thought I would want someone like this, ever. I wanted you today. I wanted you inside me, I wanted you to make love to me and tell me you love me while you did it!” I knocked my forehead against his a little to hard, damn I keep hurting him!

“I don’t know what to do!” He whined high pitched. 

“Tell me you love me!”

“I do! I love you, I love you more and more every time I see you! I dream about you and I don’t want to be with anyone else, but Nico what will everyone say! They will say I took advantage of you as your doctor. What if the only reason you love me is because of that. What if this isn’t real? What if I’m in love with you and you only think you are in love with me because of all the sex we have. Maybe you only think you love me.”

Bullshit!

“That’s not true, I am in love with you. I knew it the first time I walked in. I had never been attracted to anyone the first time I saw them. Ever. I would never have made out and grinded against a perfect stranger until I came in my pants. I’ve never been able to get farther than a kiss, and usually that ended with me in tears and shame. You are different. I don’t know why but you are! Will I love you, you love me too! Why can’t we just keep doing this only without me being a patient? Can’t we try? I think we owe it to each other to try.” I waited for his response as this internal battle was raging inside him. A back and fourth of good and evil dancing behind his eyes. 

“You can’t be my patient anymore, but... I’ll try. Ok let’s try.” Kissing me again I felt the tension leave my body. Will loves me! He loves me!

“Thank you, thank you thank you thank you! I love you, I love you so much!”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t finished don’t worry, we still got more chapters to go.


	11. First time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Will and Nico Make love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time coming I know, promise not the last chapter.

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since Will and I had admitted our love for one another and I was officially not his patient anymore. It was two weeks of Dinner dates, movies, hand holding and of course…..therapy. Even though we agreed that I would not be his patient anymore he made the condition to try out dating if and only if I went to treatment with a colleague of his. Dr. Annabeth Chase was a very good sex therapist that really knew how to put me in a good mental state. Someone I would have loved to be seeing if Will had never came into my life. Giving me exercises to do with Will at home, of course he had heard of all these exercises. We had even done a few in the past. Though she does help me in a way that maybe Will couldn’t, she isn’t personally invested the way Will was. I still hadn’t told Reyna. I’ve been lying and telling her I was somewhere else. As for my father, he flew in to have dinner with us. After a long embarrassing threat of the consequences of breaking my heart or taking advantage of me he made nice and we got on with dinner. Then at the end my father was so impressed with Wills work and how far I had come in his care he told him that he would be honored if he would except a Grant check to get his work out in the field. Money for trips and conferences, not to mention my father offering to get his book published at a small publishing company that he has on the side. 

With the excuse of my father being in town I was staying at Wills place the last few nights. Being in a relationship was so different, but exactly the same. We would do the things Dr. Chase would task and then our own fun. Working mostly on breaching me with fingers and toys. After the fiasco the last time we attempted, we have kind of just strayed away from that. Well I should say that he has shied away, I have been trying to tempt him. Of course, he derails me with his tongue and his mouth and his fingers…..fuck his fingers gods! I never thought that I would get this far. That I would crave him inside me. When I wasn’t with him I was practicing. Only a few times I triggered myself, mainly with my own fingers. I would use the Dildo he made for me from his own cast the rest of the time, knowing that it was him, his shape, made all the difference. 

My father joined us for an art gallery since he was still in town, he stayed to make certain arrangements. Afterwards we walked home to his place with a slight buzz, the champagne was wonderful. Lifting me on his back he ran us upstairs. Before we made it to the door I was all over him. Leaving clothes like a breadcrumb trail to find out way back. Hopefully there was no going back. Falling naked into his bed, we rolled around revisiting the already memorized topography. Will kisses like its our last kiss, every kiss. Desperate and overwhelming with emotion. The feeling of his body on top of me was no longer triggering, in fact it had become addicting. I was starved for intimacy, I was greedy in my need for physical touch from Will. The noises he could pull out of me with just the swipe of his tongue was embarrassing in the best way. Pushing him into a sitting position I straddled his lap.

“Will I love you so much.” I said against his mouth as his hands slid over my body, sliding freely no longer needing to be warned where they were going. 

“I love you too Nico.” He moved his mouth to my neck gnawing and sucking at my flesh. 

“W-will! Oh, gods Will, I’m ready. Take me please! I need you please.” If felt him still and look up at me. 

“Are you sure? We can stop.”

“Don’t stop, please.”

Reaching for the lube he drizzled some on his fingers and pressed them into me like so many nights before, finding that spot that made my hips jolt and my breath catch. I bared down hard on his hand riding his fingers, telling him when to add another. I found that I really loved the feeling of the stretch. Well found out is the wrong thing to say, more like rediscovered. The burn of it was triggering in the good way, telling me I was about to feel really fucking good. Sweat poured off my body as he crooked his fingers. 

“Will, please I’m ready! Just fuck me already!”

At that he stopped and lubed his length. I tried to position myself high, so I could get on him easier, but he stopped me. 

“I’m not going to fuck you Nico, if you want this to happen then its making love. You deserve nothing less.” My breath shuddered at his sincerity. Nodding I kissed him sweetly and moved my hand to grab and position him. I felt his head press against my entrance, giving him the ok he started to push in a little. Damn he was so much warmer than the dildo and had much more give. It hurt a bit as I slid down, I could feel a mix of trigger and lust run up my spine. Breathing through the pain I bottomed out. My breath was harsh as I pressed my forehead against him. 

“Are you ok? Color?”

“Green with a little yellow mixed in, its ok just give me a minute ok?”

“What do you need?”

“Kiss me, distract me.”

Lips met mine in a slow dance between us. I felt his hands grow tighter on thighs as he began to shake. My heart rate went down a bit and I began to try to move. It was easier now, moving with me we built a very slow rhythm. The burn began to ebb, shifting his hips I felt him graze my prostate and I moaned into his mouth. 

“Fuck Nico, you feel so good baby.”

“You do too, I can’t believe I waited so long. You can go faster now.”

Picking up his pace I started to meet his thrusts. Fuck this was so good, I felt his hand wrap around me and the sound just rose from my throat. I couldn’t help it, it was just too much to stay silent. Sure, I had made noise before, but now mw had me practically screaming. I was chanting his name loudly as dug my fingernails into his shoulders. I couldn’t take it anymore, it was so overwhelming, and I couldn’t hold back anymore. Spilling myself all over his body I could feel every fiber of my being set on fire on the most intense orgasm of my life. The edges of my sight went blurry as I latched my teeth onto his neck. Biting down hard on the flesh between his neck and shoulder I felt this swell of emotion flow between us as he shook inside me and climaxed. Grabbing my hair on either side of my head he brought me to his face giving me tender sweet kisses. Kisses on my eyes and cheeks, down my chin. I started to notice they were wet, I had tears running down my face, then I noticed it wasn’t just my tears. Will was crying too, just as effected. Litanies of I love you’s passed between us in whispers. Felt him soften and slip out of me. Rolling to our sides we caught our breath and brought our tears to a minimal flow. 

“Are you ok?” he said in a shaky voice.

“Yeah, I’m ok. Just really happy, like happier than I’ve ever been ever.”

“I’m not that good baby.” He laughed.

“I would counter that argument, but no that’s not why. I never thought I would be here. Postcoital that is. I never thought I would be able to do that, ever. Now look at me. You did this, you healed me.”

“You healed yourself, I just showed you how.” He kissed my forehead.

“I really love you ya know, this isn’t just some infatuation. It’s not just because of the sex and the physical stuff. I think you are the smartest and sweetest man I’ve ever met. I think you are quirky and funny, my favorite thing is when we eat on the couch and talk.”

“I love you so much Nico, and I feel the exact same way. Well I really like hearing your stories about Reyna, and the ones about your family. You have a way with words. I love that you are slightly morbid, I feel like it balances us out a bit. I love when your gender changes, you are the most handsome man and most beautiful classy woman all wrapped into one. I’m so lucky you came into my office.” Pushing my hair behind my ear he nuzzled my cheek. 

“I love you.”

“I love you, always.”


	12. One year later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... one year later

(One year later)

“What time are we meeting him?” Will asked as he rubbed circles on my lower back. My eyes still glued together from sleep. 

“Noon. We meet at Lou Ellen’s Diner on 5th and main. Remind me to bring my check book.” I felt lips puckering along my neck up to my ear, his smile noticeable in my skin. 

“Are you sure this is what you want? We can still look around.”

“I’m sure, the kitchen won me over and the big office right off the living room. It has all that light you like when you are working, and you still have to finish the editors notes by the end of the month.” Teeth gripped the cuff of my ear in a nibble that he knew sent jolts of pleasure up my spine.

“You are so sexy when you speak adult, tell me again how to separate laundry and load the dishwasher.”

“Fuck off!” He chucked into my ear at my faux annoyance. 

“Tell me how you are going to greet me at the end of the day in that cute little apron with a pie in the window, my perfect little 1940s housewife.” Strong hands grasped at my waist band and started to pull.

“If by housewife you mean me naked in that apron waiting for you to ravish me than yeah I could do that. After class of course.” I felt the fabric glide down around my ankles leaving me bare from the waist down.

“My cute little coed.” He cooed as I felt him reach for my shirt. 

“Doctor Solace are you trying to seduce me?” The shirt left my body with insistence. Will always slept naked so I had no barriers if I wanted to touch him, I was just always to cold at night to sleep that way.

“For the last hour I’ve been trying to, but you darling keep falling asleep.” Curly blonde hairs were tickling my spine as a string of butterfly kisses made their way down my spine. It’s been a year, one whole year and this is how he still wakes me up if he can. From what I understand most couple slow down a bit after a year, not us. If anything we have only gone harder. I can expect to feel that mouth on me at least once a day. 

As much as I love being inside him, ever since we got me to the place where I can bottom I can’t get enough of him. I might top once out of every ten encounters. Not including blowjobs in the shower and various other places. I found out that Will has a bit of a exhibitionist side, fast food bathrooms are his favorite. In between all the sex I had started school finally, after all this time I figured out that I wanted to study anthropology. Will was thrilled, he wanted to come along one day and study the sex lives other cultures for his next grant study. The book he wrote on this study should be finished by the end of the year, with my father publishing it he spared no expense for PR. Will would be doing a book tour during next summer and I would follow along cheering him on. 

We are moving in together, not that we practically don’t love together now. I wanted a house though not an apartment. Reyna would actually be coming with us, their was a mother in law suite on the side of the house that she would take over. I promised her a long time ago that as long as she looked out for me she would have a place to live, I keep my promises. Will was all for it of course, he likes knowing someone else is looking out for me close by. My sister and Cecil moved here down the street from the new place and with a little convincing I might be able to talk my father into the move west. Things in my life were finally starting to come together perfectly. So perfect that I had a few panic attacks over it, waiting for the other shoe to drop. There was maybe once or twice Will had to break out the Tranque shot, my triggers were not exactly over. He was never the cause though, it was always something on the outside setting me off, luckily Will and Dr. Chase gave me to tools to handle them better. 

The year hadn’t been completely perfect, Will and I had our first fight over a stupid miscommunication, it lasted three days of both of us not wanting to budge. Tears and tubs of ice cream later we made up in a messy bundle on my bed with both of us sticky with cookies and cream. Reyna laughing outside the door at us and slightly bitter about the waste of ice cream. Even through the rough patches never once did we waver from each-other. Will and I finally found each other and we were not going to let go anytime soon. 

We were finally going to sign the closing papers on the house today, the solidification of us buying a home together was making Will extra needy, I loved it. I keep having these little daydreams of us getting married and starting a family, Reyna offered to surrogate. I always wanted to be a parent one day, a father mother combo. I loved Will so much that it hurt, I only hope he felt half of what I felt for him. Of course, he tells me how much he loves me every day, sometimes it’s still hard to believe. 

I felt his lips and tongue licking along the crease of my backside. Nuzzling his nose against my skin trying to find my puckered entrance. One hand trailed under my thigh and around my front, never actually touching where I craved him. Playing teasingly with my pubic hair, little tugs and twists that made me squirm until I finally felt his tongue breach me. My hands tore at the pillow under my head as his talented mouth explored me. Coming up every now and gain to bite my cheeks in turn. My left hand grasped the side table looking for the lube, finding it and almost dropping it, I tossed it behind me. I heard the cap and the sound made my leak generously from my tip. 

“Fuck Will I’m getting impatient, just get inside me already!” I called out in a breathy voice that only he could elicit from me. Crawling back up he found my ear again.

“I can still taste myself from last night, and you’re still really loose. I’m more than sure I can slide... right... in... yeah.” As he said it I could feel his head push inside me. The sheer feeling of every inch of him creep up was like the feeling of everything was going to be ok. The pressure made me moan and bite my bottom lip. Between his words and the all consuming feeling of him, my eyes fluttered back leaving only the whites to be seen. It was such a familiar feeling now yet always so new. Nimble fingers teased the buds on my chest as he moved within me at a slow languorous pace. The wetness he had spread over himself made the glide between us seamless and sinful. Teeth bit at the back of my neck harshly, Will liked to get rough from time to time, and I loved the carnality of it. 

A hand squeezed the slick tip between my legs causing a choked sob to fill the air. I lifted my leg to get the angle I so craved for him to hit. Pleasure bloomed in my chest as sweat broke over our bodies, I reached back to pull at his hair huffing his name as that place inside me was brushed over. Licking at the lobe of my ear I could hear sweet words and naughty tidbits of what he was feeling. “Fuck, you feel so good around me. You take it so good baby, I love you so much. You’re so perfect, I want to feel your cum on my fingers and lick it off.” The words only sent me down the fast lane of finishing. The rhythm became harsh and erratic as moved in me so hard the bed sounded in duress pounding against the wall, a high pitched scream shot out out me as I pulsed over his hand, dirtying it with my pleasure. In one harsh thrust I felt him still and groan my name. The wetness increased inside me to the point of me feeling the remnants dripping out around him as he was still buried deep. We lay there catching our breath, Will liked to stay inside me until he softened and fell out naturally. I liked that too, made me feel connected to him. 

“You ok?”

“Always, with you always.” He kissed the back of my ear as he slipped out. 

Turning around I climbed on him still sticky and sensitive, getting into our position. Hearing his heart under my ear brought me back to center. I kissed at the stubble on his chin as we took our afterglow in with each other. 

“So, you ready to move all this in to the Solace-Di Angelo house?” I could feel the smile across my face as I asked him, I smile so much now my face cramps. 

“No, I don’t think so. Maybe it’s the name. You should change your name.”

“I’m not changing my name why would I chan...” he smiled when I realized what he was saying. A tear ran down my face, and I kissed him.

“Ok, I’ll change it.”

“Good, I’m counting on it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are my lifeblood and I love all of you who write to me. Thank you all for humoring me in reading my stuff.  
> Also im always accepting story ideas and want to hear from you so feel free to thow your idea my way either on here on the reviews or feel free to contact me on Tumblr if you want a real convo, I am of age so you cant talk weird to me lol 
> 
> Tumblr:ShleeZaemour


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